Universal Donor
We can ill afford
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You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:

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PAGES UD MADE:

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My Books Page

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My Reviews Page

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My Reference Page

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My Music Page

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My Pictures

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My Store

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

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My LiveJournal

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My MySpace music page

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My Flickr page

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My del.icio.us page

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My Last.fm page

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My Amazon Wishlist

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HEAVY ROTATION

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Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes

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BLOGS ETC

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claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

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qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

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dead amusement pks
craters!

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all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield

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PRAISE & REVIEWS

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"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

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Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

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Razor Ection







WHO LINKS TO UD?

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• from Technorati
• from Google
• from Yahoo



and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

  So what the fuck is up with this shit? I give money to Channel Thirteen because I like public television. I give money to WBAI because I like listener-supported radio. But apparently them bitches sold my address to every left-wing organization west of Trieste, because the freaking Democratic Socialists of America sent me some plea for cash yesterday, along with Greenpeace, Working Assets Long Distance (puh-lease), and other members of the Giant Lefty Consortium of Organizations Who Think I Make More Money Than I Do. Ugh! How many red flags are fluttering madly from my file at the Justice Department? We already talk quietly about politics in our house (and only with five tape decks simultaneously playing random sounds and noise bursts in the background) to foil the microphones that we can't see but we find it best to assume are there. Often, when HTR says something particularly inflammatory about the powers that be, I will speak loudly at the chandelier: "I, Universal Donor, couldn't disagree with you more. I think our government is doing a FINE, FINE JOB. Remember the Alamo! Boobs are bad!" or whatever I think will get me off the hook. When they declare martial law, I'm gonna have to run down the fire escape and live in the sewers.
     Yesterday I got my teeth cleaned at the dentist like I do every six months, and I was inordinately proud when he said "you've been flossing more." Aww, you noticed! But so after I'm cleaned I have to chat with the assistant for like 20 minutes about how much my insurance will pay, and where they'll send the reimbursement, and blah blah blah coverage cakes. When I get back to the office, I notice A HIGHLY VISIBLE GLOB OF GREEN DENTIST TOOTHPASTE ON MY CHEEK. On my fucking cheek, plain as face paint. What the fuck, dentist? What the fuck, grumpy Israeli secretary? What the fuck, cashier at the deli? WHAT THE FUCK, EVERYBODY?
posted by Universal Donor 4:23 PM 0 comments

OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha

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You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)

Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

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Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

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Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

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"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
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"from whence"
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"...the exception that proves the rule"
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any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
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the phrase "drop trou"
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fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
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"expat"
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the euphemism
"passed away"
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pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")

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PET PEEVES

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"confinscated"
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trying children "as adults"
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"drownded"
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misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
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tattoos in the Courier font
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any use of Comic Sans

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