Universal Donor
We can ill afford
another Klendathu

---

feed it up! | UD email

- Archives - 04/01/2002 - 05/01/2002 05/01/2002 - 06/01/2002 06/01/2002 - 07/01/2002 07/01/2002 - 08/01/2002 08/01/2002 - 09/01/2002 09/01/2002 - 10/01/2002 10/01/2002 - 11/01/2002 11/01/2002 - 12/01/2002 12/01/2002 - 01/01/2003 01/01/2003 - 02/01/2003 02/01/2003 - 03/01/2003 03/01/2003 - 04/01/2003 04/01/2003 - 05/01/2003 05/01/2003 - 06/01/2003 06/01/2003 - 07/01/2003 07/01/2003 - 08/01/2003 08/01/2003 - 09/01/2003 09/01/2003 - 10/01/2003 10/01/2003 - 11/01/2003 11/01/2003 - 12/01/2003 12/01/2003 - 01/01/2004 01/01/2004 - 02/01/2004 02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004 03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004 04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004 05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004 06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004 07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004 08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004 09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004 10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004 11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004 12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005 01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005 02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005 03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005 04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005 05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005 06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005 07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005 08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005 09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005 10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005 11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005 12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006 01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006 02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006 03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006 04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006 05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006 06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006 07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006 08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006 09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006 10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006 11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006 12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007 01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007 02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007 03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007 04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007 05/01/2007 - 06/01/2007 06/01/2007 - 07/01/2007 07/01/2007 - 08/01/2007 08/01/2007 - 09/01/2007 09/01/2007 - 10/01/2007 10/01/2007 - 11/01/2007 11/01/2007 - 12/01/2007 12/01/2007 - 01/01/2008 01/01/2008 - 02/01/2008 02/01/2008 - 03/01/2008 03/01/2008 - 04/01/2008 04/01/2008 - 05/01/2008 05/01/2008 - 06/01/2008 06/01/2008 - 07/01/2008 07/01/2008 - 08/01/2008 08/01/2008 - 09/01/2008 09/01/2008 - 10/01/2008 10/01/2008 - 11/01/2008 11/01/2008 - 12/01/2008 12/01/2008 - 01/01/2009 01/01/2009 - 02/01/2009 03/01/2009 - 04/01/2009 07/01/2009 - 08/01/2009 08/01/2009 - 09/01/2009 04/01/2010 - 05/01/2010 09/01/2010 - 10/01/2010

---

You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:

---

PAGES UD MADE:

---

My Books Page

---

My Reviews Page

---

My Reference Page

---

My Music Page

---

My Pictures

---

My Store

---

UD-RELATED PAGES:

---

My LiveJournal

---

My MySpace music page

---

My Flickr page

---

My del.icio.us page

---

My Last.fm page

---

My Amazon Wishlist

---

HEAVY ROTATION

---

Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes

---

BLOGS ETC

---

claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

---

qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

---

dead amusement pks
craters!

---

all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield

---

Hosted by:
HostRocket.Com

Comments by:
YACCS

  SITE STATS



PRAISE & REVIEWS

---

"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

---

egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

---

Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

---

Razor Ection







WHO LINKS TO UD?

---

• from Technorati
• from Google
• from Yahoo



and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

  I woke up this morning before my alarm went off and smiled to myself, because I had a perfect topic for you. A good entry after a drought. I slept the sleep of the righteous. Then I woke up and went to work and forgot everything. So maybe I'll talk about the Irish instead.
     I have to cross Fifth Avenue on the way to work, which today was not possible because of the police barricades set up to completely enclose the upcoming river of bagpiping drunkards. I managed to hop the barricades and blend in with the crowd by stripping down to my green shillelagh hammock and bolting across the street screaming "FOOKIN' 'ELL OI'M IRISH! YARR! SURE AN' YER DA'S A SHEEPSHAGGAH!" I was allowed to cross, and my heart swelled. I'm a quarter Irish, you know. Even now, from my office on the 14th floor, I am gladdened that I can still hear the "FweeEEE-ummmm a Fwee-dalla Fweee!" of Irish pride.
     It's a wonderful tradition, which commemorates the day St. Patrick barricaded the rats of Dublin inside a pub and killed them using the amplified screams of the witches burning under the willow trees of Glocca Morra, or whatever. Helicopters are flying freaky low-altitude intimidation patterns over midtown to discourage... um, parade terror, I guess? My boss said she heard there were police snipers posted all along the route, which is also weird. My guess is they're authorized to shoot anyone who isn't wearing green or demanding kisses from every girl who passes within thirty feet. I just hope the snipers aren't Irish too, because Irish people are drunk all the time. No, I'm kidding. But seriously, it's hard to aim when your laser scope is covered with chunky green scone huke. Erin Go Blaargle!
     Speaking of green, my cowokers just started a volley of tsking over some story about a lady who was pregnant with twins and blah blah blah tragedycakes about opting out of a C-section. I dunno, but there was some more tsking about the fact that the expectant mom had smoked weed while pregnant. I just want to tell you that it makes perfect sense to me. The idea of being preggers gives me the shivering creepers. Plus, I think burning trees with a bun in the oven pretty much guarantees you a mellow, chilled-out baby, right? Also, shooting speed straight into the amniotic sac will create an energetic, productive baby who loves to clean his room. Also, inserting a mini bottle of airplane liquor and a rifle bullet into your baby-filled uterus will guarantee your child future employment at St. Paddy's Day parades.
posted by Universal Donor 3:52 PM 0 comments

OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha

---

You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)

Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store

---

---

MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

---

Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

---

Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

---

"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
-
"from whence"
-
"...the exception that proves the rule"
-
any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
-
the phrase "drop trou"
-
fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
-
"expat"
-
the euphemism
"passed away"
-
pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")

---

PET PEEVES

---

"confinscated"
-
trying children "as adults"
-
"drownded"
-
misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
-
tattoos in the Courier font
-
any use of Comic Sans

---