Universal Donor
We can ill afford
another Klendathu

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You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:

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PAGES UD MADE:

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My Books Page

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My Reviews Page

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My Reference Page

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My Music Page

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My Pictures

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My Store

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

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My LiveJournal

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My MySpace music page

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My Flickr page

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My del.icio.us page

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My Last.fm page

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My Amazon Wishlist

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HEAVY ROTATION

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Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes

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BLOGS ETC

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claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

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qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

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dead amusement pks
craters!

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all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield

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PRAISE & REVIEWS

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"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

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Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

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Razor Ection







WHO LINKS TO UD?

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• from Technorati
• from Google
• from Yahoo



and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

  There's this old lady who I see every afternoon in Au Bon Pain. She has huge sunglasses that she wears regardless of the weather, makeup applied assiduously and not without skill but still vaguely clownish, and a huge collection of totally obsolete leisure pantsuits. She looks like a spectator at the World Shuffleboard Chamionship in Boca. My favorite pantsuit is the one that appears to have been made out of decomissioned billiard table felt, with visible white stitching. Birdlike and delicate, she picks at her muffin with fingers that I bet she gets manicured twice a week. At a fondue party, she wouldn't need kebabs -- she could spear a cube on each of those nails, and become a nightmare creature, the meat-fingered granny monster.
     But okay, the real horror of Lady Pantsuit is that she spends every afternoon in a Au Bon Pain. On a nowhere sidestreet in midtown. I'm no stranger to the comfort of patterns, and yes I did go to the same diner every morning for three years back in college. BUT IT WAS A SOCIAL THING. This lady is always alone, staring out the window at a piece of contruction-site plywood that blocks her view of the street. Please, when I'm older, let me have friends and things to do. Let me have hobbies, or card games. Or maybe a job. I remember that my grandmother used to get her hair done twice a week, and after 20 years or so of the same do, it had hardened into a shellac helmet. She watched soap operas and played solitaire and drank half a bottle of rye every day. Wow. Help.
     This is off topic and maybe a little obvious, but: don't you kinda get the impression that Gwen Stefani is a big dumb ditzy piece of OC punker trash?
posted by Universal Donor 12:34 PM 0 comments

OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha

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You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)

Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

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Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

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Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

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"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
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"from whence"
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"...the exception that proves the rule"
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any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
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the phrase "drop trou"
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fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
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"expat"
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the euphemism
"passed away"
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pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")

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PET PEEVES

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"confinscated"
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trying children "as adults"
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"drownded"
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misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
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tattoos in the Courier font
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any use of Comic Sans

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