Universal Donor
We can ill afford
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You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:

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PAGES UD MADE:

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My Books Page

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My Reviews Page

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My Reference Page

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My Music Page

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My Pictures

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My Store

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

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My LiveJournal

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My MySpace music page

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My Flickr page

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My del.icio.us page

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My Last.fm page

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My Amazon Wishlist

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HEAVY ROTATION

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Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes

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BLOGS ETC

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claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

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qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

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dead amusement pks
craters!

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all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield

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PRAISE & REVIEWS

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"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

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Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

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Razor Ection







WHO LINKS TO UD?

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• from Technorati
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and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

  I took Wednesday off this last week to see if nuncstans would have to go to jail, which happily she did not. She just has to serve her community for seven days, though people who know the judge in her case are pretty sure that her service will take the form of alcohol-swabbing the buttcheeks of homeless lepers for a week, or like Q-Tipping public toilets without gloves. Still, it's better than jail.
     I don't usually post on Mondays and I rarely post on Tuesdays, so having Wednesday off made Thursday and Friday feel like Monday and Tuesday again, and you suffered for it. You are brave, and I'm sorry, again. Also, as I may have mentioned a billion times already, all my normal operations have dropped to 20% efficiency because I haven't had a vacation for too long. I leave next Thursday night, and I can already feel my feet swelling in joyous anticipation of my flight.
     JetBlue acts like having DirecTV embedded in every seatback is a good thing, but I really, really hate it. I always bring a book for airplane rides, and I used to be able to read at least twenty pages before getting Shanghaied by whatever heavily edited one-star movie the airline bought from the mass-exhibition-rights equivalent of the $3 used CD-bin at your favorite corporate record store (Brown Sugar, The Parent Trap, Rush Hour 2, Spy Kids 2, Tomorrow Never Dies), because no matter how curdled the cinematic pap, I can't look away from the screen. So I'd shell out for the $3 headphones at hate myself as I watched, but eventually the movie ended and I could read some more, or review the safety card (which by the way I love the idea that bending over and hugging your knees is gonna make a difference when your plane slams into a mountain at 400mph) or pester a flight attendant for nuts.
     But there is no esape from the DirecTV on JetBlue. Unless you crawl into an overhead compartment, or bivouac in the lavatory, or wrap your head in one of those industrial textile mill waste strips that they call "blankets," there is always a screen in your line of vision. I am pretty sure that even the cockpit has couple of screens in case the navigator gets bored. Even if you turn yours off, your neighbor invariably has the default screen up, which shows your progress in the form of an airplane icon hovering over a map of the U.S. Now granted, that's often only thing worth watching, but it makes me sad that people would rather watch the pixel plane and pixel states than actually look out the fucking window. Folks, you're too blasé by far about the fact that you're in a magical flying metal tube. Show a little awe already.
posted by Universal Donor 7:28 PM 0 comments

OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha

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You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)

Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

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Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

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Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

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"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
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"from whence"
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"...the exception that proves the rule"
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any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
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the phrase "drop trou"
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fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
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"expat"
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the euphemism
"passed away"
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pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")

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PET PEEVES

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"confinscated"
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trying children "as adults"
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"drownded"
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misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
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tattoos in the Courier font
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any use of Comic Sans

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