Universal Donor
We can ill afford
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You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:

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PAGES UD MADE:

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My Books Page

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My Reviews Page

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My Reference Page

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My Music Page

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My Pictures

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My Store

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

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My LiveJournal

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My MySpace music page

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My Flickr page

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My del.icio.us page

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My Last.fm page

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My Amazon Wishlist

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HEAVY ROTATION

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Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes

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BLOGS ETC

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claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

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qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

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dead amusement pks
craters!

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all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield

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PRAISE & REVIEWS

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"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

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Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

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Razor Ection







WHO LINKS TO UD?

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• from Technorati
• from Google
• from Yahoo



and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

  I stare at my computer all day, wondering why nothing resembling work seems to appear on the screen. How can I justify spending an entire day doing anything but the small amount of non-challenging work with which I am charged? Well, I got a clue from Nick "no relation" Broomfield's 1996 documentary Fetishes, in which a dominatrix says something like "working all day at a job that doesn't challenge you -- that's the real torture." I hate having knowledge dropped on my by someone who refers to herself with a straight face as "Mistress Delilah," but you take your wisdom where you can get it these days, am I right? Far be it from me to disdain advice just because it came from HBO OnDemand's sketchiest menu. Oh lord. Can someone rescue me? A book deal or a record contract. Draft me into a secret wing of the government, force me to electrocute kittens, I don't care! As long as it's challenging!
     lo left New York this weekend for the hot and tornado-y city of Houston, bequeathing me a memory-foam mattress-pad and an Insound Trading Card Series trading card featuring The Fiery Furnaces. I keep staring at the card, mostly at Eleanor Friedberger, thinking that she doesn't sound as cute as she looks here, and maybe I'm weird. Do I think she's cute because I got one of her songs in my head? What's the value in thinking someone's cute when you know that if they were standing right in front of you, you would barely have the energy to smile, let alone slip them a copy of your demo so they could help make you famous and ruin your life? Buy you a drink? Don't mind if I do! What's your story, stranger? OH FORGET IT. But maybe, my children, maybe the fact that I still respond to music is a good thing. Let's not fight it.
     I spent part of today reading this kid's reviews on Amazon. As you will see, he has written a lot of reviews. They are terribly written in a glistening train-wrecky kind of way -- bad spelling, bad theses, bad subject matter. But the kid has heart! He writes reviews of posters. Movie posters! He can't wait for the DVD to come out, and he's got no other venue. But really, I don't care if he has heart. His taste is for shit.
     Add to my list of people I hate: Anybody who knows all the words to that rap in the middle of that Barenaked Ladies song in that car ad from a couple of years ago. This includes the Barenaked Ladies themselves. Also on the list: whoever invented Entenmann's Popems. Because alone at home this weekend I took a hard fast slide into cliché, one glazed donut hole at a time. Death to!
posted by Universal Donor 5:34 PM 0 comments

OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha

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You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)

Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

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Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

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Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

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"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
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"from whence"
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"...the exception that proves the rule"
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any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
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the phrase "drop trou"
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fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
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"expat"
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the euphemism
"passed away"
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pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")

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PET PEEVES

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"confinscated"
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trying children "as adults"
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"drownded"
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misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
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tattoos in the Courier font
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any use of Comic Sans

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