UNIVERSAL DONOR: MA VIE EN CROUTE
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Universal Donor
We can ill afford another Klendathu You are just a number to me! And that number is: PAGES UD MADE: My Books Page My Reviews Page My Reference Page My Music Page My Pictures My Store UD-RELATED PAGES: My LiveJournal My MySpace music page My Flickr page My del.icio.us page My Last.fm page My Amazon Wishlist HEAVY ROTATION Dan Deacon: Bromst Animal Collective: Merriweather Post Pavillion Bon Iver: For Emma, Forever Ago Vampire Weekend: Vampire Weekend Fleet Foxes: Fleet Foxes BLOGS ETC claude le monde nuncstans rock 'em stock 'em tomato nation postmodern drunkard tuckova 22 ghastly mess constintina total virility fuzzysquid drunken bee stacey nightmare elyse from ANTM stereolabrat dark side points jf_franklin 123 i love you READ NOW brotherhood 2.0 NOT BLOGS ETC qwantz (dinosaur comix) go fug yourself the burg cat and girl book of ratings married to the sea icanhascheezburger fire joe morgan fivethirtyeight.com READ NOW hospitality on parade WEIRD LOVE dead amusement pks craters! all content © 2002-2010 Jeremy Broomfield
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Thursday, August 12, 2004
So by now you've probably heard that New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey just resigned for cheating on his wife. Turns out that despite the happy family image he projected for most of his career, things weren't all tea and crumpets in Trenton. More hypocrisy from politicians! Will it never end? Still, didn't Rudy Giuliani cheat on his wife, too? He sure as fuck didn't resign because of it. He stuck around and didn't even really seem ashamed, saying thigns like "What, you don't like my new girlfriend? Why don't you come on down to the Bowery, you fuck -- we'll settle this old school, with a couple spaldeens and a brickbat. You hold the spaldeens and I'll bash your face with the bat! You muddahfuckahs! I'm the fuckin' Mayor here! Fuhgeddaboutit!" Then he unleashed an army of cops in to Yankee Stadium, where he had already corralled all the homeless people. Carnage, my friends, all because the Mayor "opened his press pool to freelancers." But so McGreevey shouldn't retire. He should apologize, buy New Jersey a box of penis-shaped chocolates, and let's all agree to move on. And I think that if he sang his apology us, up here on our balcony, we'd be his forever.
I had been smiling all day before I heard that news. I didn't know why, but walking down the street with my coworker Joanne I felt like my face was gonna sprain from the case of the grins I had. How do you know if it's a happy smile and not one of those crazy smiles? I'll tell you: you show it to every girl that walks by, and if they smile back, you're happy; if they fall down, cross the street weeping, or even just crinkle their noses a bit, you're crazypants, and it's time to call the guys with the giant butterfly nets. Because that's how they catch crazy people: big-ass butterfly nets. And speaking of crazypants, I bought three pairs of pants yesterday, brand new, nice pants, for the crazypants price of $12. 0 comments |
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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS Chan Marshall Rotem of the IDF Eleanor Friedberger Amy Goodman Bernardine Dohrn ('69) Maya Rudolph Joanna Newsom Imogen Heap Caroline Dhavernas Shana Rae Ray DISALLOWED FOREVER "I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!" - "from whence" - "...the exception that proves the rule" - any use of the question "spit or swallow?" - the phrase "drop trou" - fake-o reviewer verbs: "penned" for wrote "helmed" for directed "lensed" for whatever - "expat" - the euphemism "passed away" - pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!" (see also: "grassy-ass!") PET PEEVES "confinscated" - trying children "as adults" - "drownded" - misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT. - tattoos in the Courier font - any use of Comic Sans |