UNIVERSAL DONOR: MA VIE EN CROUTE

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We can ill afford
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is:



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My Pictures

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

My LiveJournal

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HEAVY ROTATION

Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes




BLOGS ETC

claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

dead amusement pks
craters!


all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield



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PRAISE & REVIEWS

"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

Razor Ection



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and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

Thursday, August 12, 2004
 
So by now you've probably heard that New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey just resigned for cheating on his wife. Turns out that despite the happy family image he projected for most of his career, things weren't all tea and crumpets in Trenton. More hypocrisy from politicians! Will it never end? Still, didn't Rudy Giuliani cheat on his wife, too? He sure as fuck didn't resign because of it. He stuck around and didn't even really seem ashamed, saying thigns like "What, you don't like my new girlfriend? Why don't you come on down to the Bowery, you fuck -- we'll settle this old school, with a couple spaldeens and a brickbat. You hold the spaldeens and I'll bash your face with the bat! You muddahfuckahs! I'm the fuckin' Mayor here! Fuhgeddaboutit!" Then he unleashed an army of cops in to Yankee Stadium, where he had already corralled all the homeless people. Carnage, my friends, all because the Mayor "opened his press pool to freelancers." But so McGreevey shouldn't retire. He should apologize, buy New Jersey a box of penis-shaped chocolates, and let's all agree to move on. And I think that if he sang his apology us, up here on our balcony, we'd be his forever.
     I had been smiling all day before I heard that news. I didn't know why, but walking down the street with my coworker Joanne I felt like my face was gonna sprain from the case of the grins I had. How do you know if it's a happy smile and not one of those crazy smiles? I'll tell you: you show it to every girl that walks by, and if they smile back, you're happy; if they fall down, cross the street weeping, or even just crinkle their noses a bit, you're crazypants, and it's time to call the guys with the giant butterfly nets. Because that's how they catch crazy people: big-ass butterfly nets. And speaking of crazypants, I bought three pairs of pants yesterday, brand new, nice pants, for the crazypants price of $12.

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OTHER REVIEWS:
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LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha




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Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)


Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
-
"from whence"
-
"...the exception that proves the rule"
-
any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
-
the phrase "drop trou"
-
fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
-
"expat"
-
the euphemism
"passed away"
-
pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")



PET PEEVES

"confinscated"
-
trying children "as adults"
-
"drownded"
-
misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
-
tattoos in the Courier font
-
any use of Comic Sans