UNIVERSAL DONOR: MA VIE EN CROUTE
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Universal Donor
We can ill afford another Klendathu You are just a number to me! And that number is: PAGES UD MADE: My Books Page My Reviews Page My Reference Page My Music Page My Pictures My Store UD-RELATED PAGES: My LiveJournal My MySpace music page My Flickr page My del.icio.us page My Last.fm page My Amazon Wishlist HEAVY ROTATION Dan Deacon: Bromst Animal Collective: Merriweather Post Pavillion Bon Iver: For Emma, Forever Ago Vampire Weekend: Vampire Weekend Fleet Foxes: Fleet Foxes BLOGS ETC claude le monde nuncstans rock 'em stock 'em tomato nation postmodern drunkard tuckova 22 ghastly mess constintina total virility fuzzysquid drunken bee stacey nightmare elyse from ANTM stereolabrat dark side points jf_franklin 123 i love you READ NOW brotherhood 2.0 NOT BLOGS ETC qwantz (dinosaur comix) go fug yourself the burg cat and girl book of ratings married to the sea icanhascheezburger fire joe morgan fivethirtyeight.com READ NOW hospitality on parade WEIRD LOVE dead amusement pks craters! all content © 2002-2010 Jeremy Broomfield
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Tuesday, September 07, 2004
I do not do well when Left to My Own Devices. My Own Devices are badly in need of repair or replacement. Because people were paranoid about the RNC (which I'm not even gonna get into the ridiculousness of the "fear" pose adopted disingenuously by all manner of NYers who just wanted some days off) I got the week "off" to "work from home." Wa ha. The city was near-empty during the RNC, so I guess everybody's office made the same decision as mine. NYers have a serious allergy to Republicans, especially en masse, and we just freak out FREAK OUT if a group larger than a southern football team comes to town.
But about my week of "working" from home. Here's what I worked on: • Three PS2 blisters (thumb, thumb, right palm) which eventually became • Three PS2 calluses. LAME! I also worked on my record for number of consecutive hours without leaving the house at all, which I think really got on the nerves of the Newest Roommate, who was actually working from home, and on a horrific marathon transcription of recordings from market research focus groups. They gave her a footpedal device to start and stop the tape, which clicked like an ominous arthropod from the other room, reminding me with every clacketyslick that maybe I could like get off the couch for a second and check the old email instead of mainlining HBO OnDemand like it was about to be taken away from me. I watched the televisual equivalent of Christmas Eve Dinner followed by whatever you eat on Christmas Day and then Christmas Dinner too. Imagine the pain of having eaten more rich food than your stomach can handle for four consecutive meals and that what my head felt like from watching so much Award-Winning HBO Original Programming. Fuck dude. These are my devices. I could have developed bedsores from the couch, too, because a week ago Sunday it was fucking tropical in the city so I turned on the Living Room's AC and when I got too tired to hold the remote or the PS2 controller, I just flopped the couch down into futon-mode and passed out in the chilly chill. Decadent, revolting. I think maybe some important muscle groups atrophied, too. I did eventually get out and socialize, but the damage was done. I'm got hermit marks on my love handles. Won't you come grab me and lift me from this pit? 0 comments |
OTHER REVIEWS: Scrabble NEW! LATEST BOOK REVIEWS: The Game Moneyball One-Upsmanship Siddhartha You need the Fear Not Guide to Life. Buy it already. ($4) Now available! The Broomfield Variations CD ($10) or go to The UD Store
MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS Chan Marshall Rotem of the IDF Eleanor Friedberger Amy Goodman Bernardine Dohrn ('69) Maya Rudolph Joanna Newsom Imogen Heap Caroline Dhavernas Shana Rae Ray DISALLOWED FOREVER "I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!" - "from whence" - "...the exception that proves the rule" - any use of the question "spit or swallow?" - the phrase "drop trou" - fake-o reviewer verbs: "penned" for wrote "helmed" for directed "lensed" for whatever - "expat" - the euphemism "passed away" - pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!" (see also: "grassy-ass!") PET PEEVES "confinscated" - trying children "as adults" - "drownded" - misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT. - tattoos in the Courier font - any use of Comic Sans |