UNIVERSAL DONOR: MA VIE EN CROUTE

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HEAVY ROTATION

Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes




BLOGS ETC

claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

dead amusement pks
craters!


all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield



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PRAISE & REVIEWS

"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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MY WRESTLING NAME

Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

Razor Ection



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and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

Tuesday, September 14, 2004
 
I was all ready to get pissed at my office for not giving us the day off for nanalala, until I figured out that it fell on a Saturday this year. I mourned and remembered by going to the big Target mall that appeared near the trainyards at Flatbush and Atlantic. J.Ro had been intoning reverentially about the chain for hours, as if it were really as cool as its commercials. (Which it is not -- it is an important skill to be able to differentiate between products and their ads, because the map is not the territory, bwah, and a good thing because have you seen those new ads for the Hummer SUV? The kaleidoskopic ones? I'm sorry, but those ads tickle some part of my brain and make me smile in spite of myself, even as the bile rises at the thought of the chunky logo I'm about to see and the army of meatheaded pootards that buy and unironically drive the parody-of-excess that is anything made by Hummer.)
     So Target was nothing special, a red K-Mart, and I tried tried tried to find some product on which to squander the $50 gift card my boss had forgotten to give me at the office holiday party last December. She found the card but what the hell, man, I think I fractured my consumerbone. Or at least sprained my buymuscle. Aisles and aisles of stuff, tantalizing endcap displays, all for prices way below what you'd expect, right? Can electronic toothbrush technology have advanced to the point where this space-age luxury can now be had for UNDER $15????? What kind of kee-razy mirror-world am I living in? Perhaps the fabled DC Comics Bizarro World? I think maybe it is, folks. Look at the stamps I bought the other day: it's Bizarro Bucky Fuller. Holy hot fuck, that's a weird-looking stamp.

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
-
"from whence"
-
"...the exception that proves the rule"
-
any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
-
the phrase "drop trou"
-
fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
-
"expat"
-
the euphemism
"passed away"
-
pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")



PET PEEVES

"confinscated"
-
trying children "as adults"
-
"drownded"
-
misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
-
tattoos in the Courier font
-
any use of Comic Sans