UNIVERSAL DONOR: MA VIE EN CROUTE
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Universal Donor
We can ill afford another Klendathu You are just a number to me! And that number is: PAGES UD MADE: My Books Page My Reviews Page My Reference Page My Music Page My Pictures My Store UD-RELATED PAGES: My LiveJournal My MySpace music page My Flickr page My del.icio.us page My Last.fm page My Amazon Wishlist HEAVY ROTATION Dan Deacon: Bromst Animal Collective: Merriweather Post Pavillion Bon Iver: For Emma, Forever Ago Vampire Weekend: Vampire Weekend Fleet Foxes: Fleet Foxes BLOGS ETC claude le monde nuncstans rock 'em stock 'em tomato nation postmodern drunkard tuckova 22 ghastly mess constintina total virility fuzzysquid drunken bee stacey nightmare elyse from ANTM stereolabrat dark side points jf_franklin 123 i love you READ NOW brotherhood 2.0 NOT BLOGS ETC qwantz (dinosaur comix) go fug yourself the burg cat and girl book of ratings married to the sea icanhascheezburger fire joe morgan fivethirtyeight.com READ NOW hospitality on parade WEIRD LOVE dead amusement pks craters! all content © 2002-2010 Jeremy Broomfield
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Tuesday, September 14, 2004
I was all ready to get pissed at my office for not giving us the day off for nanalala, until I figured out that it fell on a Saturday this year. I mourned and remembered by going to the big Target mall that appeared near the trainyards at Flatbush and Atlantic. J.Ro had been intoning reverentially about the chain for hours, as if it were really as cool as its commercials. (Which it is not -- it is an important skill to be able to differentiate between products and their ads, because the map is not the territory, bwah, and a good thing because have you seen those new ads for the Hummer SUV? The kaleidoskopic ones? I'm sorry, but those ads tickle some part of my brain and make me smile in spite of myself, even as the bile rises at the thought of the chunky logo I'm about to see and the army of meatheaded pootards that buy and unironically drive the parody-of-excess that is anything made by Hummer.)
So Target was nothing special, a red K-Mart, and I tried tried tried to find some product on which to squander the $50 gift card my boss had forgotten to give me at the office holiday party last December. She found the card but what the hell, man, I think I fractured my consumerbone. Or at least sprained my buymuscle. Aisles and aisles of stuff, tantalizing endcap displays, all for prices way below what you'd expect, right? Can electronic toothbrush technology have advanced to the point where this space-age luxury can now be had for UNDER $15????? What kind of kee-razy mirror-world am I living in? Perhaps the fabled DC Comics Bizarro World? I think maybe it is, folks. Look at the stamps I bought the other day: it's Bizarro Bucky Fuller. Holy hot fuck, that's a weird-looking stamp. 0 comments |
OTHER REVIEWS: Scrabble NEW! LATEST BOOK REVIEWS: The Game Moneyball One-Upsmanship Siddhartha You need the Fear Not Guide to Life. Buy it already. ($4) Now available! The Broomfield Variations CD ($10) or go to The UD Store
MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS Chan Marshall Rotem of the IDF Eleanor Friedberger Amy Goodman Bernardine Dohrn ('69) Maya Rudolph Joanna Newsom Imogen Heap Caroline Dhavernas Shana Rae Ray DISALLOWED FOREVER "I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!" - "from whence" - "...the exception that proves the rule" - any use of the question "spit or swallow?" - the phrase "drop trou" - fake-o reviewer verbs: "penned" for wrote "helmed" for directed "lensed" for whatever - "expat" - the euphemism "passed away" - pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!" (see also: "grassy-ass!") PET PEEVES "confinscated" - trying children "as adults" - "drownded" - misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT. - tattoos in the Courier font - any use of Comic Sans |