Universal Donor
We can ill afford
another Klendathu

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You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:

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PAGES UD MADE:

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My Books Page

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My Reviews Page

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My Reference Page

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My Music Page

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My Pictures

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My Store

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

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My LiveJournal

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My MySpace music page

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My Flickr page

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My del.icio.us page

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My Last.fm page

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My Amazon Wishlist

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HEAVY ROTATION

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Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes

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BLOGS ETC

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claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

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qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

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dead amusement pks
craters!

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all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield

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PRAISE & REVIEWS

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"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

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Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

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Razor Ection







WHO LINKS TO UD?

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• from Technorati
• from Google
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and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

  It takes so much to make the world run, and so many people working feverishly all the time to keep everything from slipping into toal chaos. I'm thinking specifically of the people who work at my medical insurance company and make sure that my doctors get paid and that I don't have to pay them. Bless you, hard-working paper-cutted people. Salt of the earth. Except you fucked up. Yeah, I got me a bill from a doctor with some crazy three-digit "amount due" and I'm sorely tempted to show it to the shredder right now. Mr. Bill, would you like to meet the shredder? GLLLARGLE! Invisible people keep the world spinning, so I hate invisible people.
     Imagine all the jobs you never think about. This is just off the top of my head: Surplus Industrial Plastics Byproduct Auctioneer. Llama Handler. Toy Designer, Inflatables and Watersports Division. Assistant to the Head of New Donut Development. Foot Remover. Nickel Miner. Weigh Station Agent. Taster. Administrative Wilson. Kickle Gabber. Spin Targent Monitor. Apple Shonker. Fish Raper. Oh what a world, to create so many ways to occupy yourself in service to your society! So many roads on which to drive your car! So many overpass supports into which to ram your car, flinging you through the windshield at 70mph and you grind your face over 200 feet of gravel to end up dead with your head stuck in a culvert.
     That was gloomy. But it made me think that I wish I had a private joke with somebody, or, no, I guess it's just like a shared verbal shorthand, where "head in a culvert" would be a catchall phrase to stand in for pointless, tragic death. Whatever happened to old Bob? Head in a culvert. Damn, too bad. He was one of the good ones!
     Shit! Still gloomy! Is it possible to have Seasonal Affective Disorder that kicks in after one day of constant rain? (Yesterday it rained so hard my underpants got wet -- and I'm from Canada!) Speaking of SAD, have I ever told you about this new disease that I have, which I was diagnosed by Zorgot, who also discovered the disease? You're no doubt familiar with SIDS, or Sudden Infant Death Syndrome -- very tragic. But no moreso than my affliction, which is called GADS. Gradual Adult Death Syndrome. You should get checked out. Maybe you've got it too. There is no treatment. Symptoms include breathing, brain function, and a heartbeat. Woo-pah!
posted by Universal Donor 4:34 PM 1 comments

OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha

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You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)

Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

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Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

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Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

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"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
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"from whence"
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"...the exception that proves the rule"
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any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
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the phrase "drop trou"
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fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
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"expat"
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the euphemism
"passed away"
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pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")

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PET PEEVES

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"confinscated"
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trying children "as adults"
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"drownded"
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misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
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tattoos in the Courier font
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any use of Comic Sans

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