UNIVERSAL DONOR: MA VIE EN CROUTE
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Universal Donor
We can ill afford another Klendathu You are just a number to me! And that number is: PAGES UD MADE: My Books Page My Reviews Page My Reference Page My Music Page My Pictures My Store UD-RELATED PAGES: My LiveJournal My MySpace music page My Flickr page My del.icio.us page My Last.fm page My Amazon Wishlist HEAVY ROTATION Dan Deacon: Bromst Animal Collective: Merriweather Post Pavillion Bon Iver: For Emma, Forever Ago Vampire Weekend: Vampire Weekend Fleet Foxes: Fleet Foxes BLOGS ETC claude le monde nuncstans rock 'em stock 'em tomato nation postmodern drunkard tuckova 22 ghastly mess constintina total virility fuzzysquid drunken bee stacey nightmare elyse from ANTM stereolabrat dark side points jf_franklin 123 i love you READ NOW brotherhood 2.0 NOT BLOGS ETC qwantz (dinosaur comix) go fug yourself the burg cat and girl book of ratings married to the sea icanhascheezburger fire joe morgan fivethirtyeight.com READ NOW hospitality on parade WEIRD LOVE dead amusement pks craters! all content © 2002-2010 Jeremy Broomfield
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Wednesday, October 20, 2004
All right! I'm watching the Yankees blow a 3-0 series lead, I'm searching for new roommates, I'm experiencing some fucked-up kind of chronic fatigue syndrome that makes me sleepy when I'm within 20 feet of another person, and starting tomorrow, I'm getting a root canal! Whoop!
We can start with the teeth. I've been a really good brusher forever and a fair-to-middling flosser for the last four years or so. My parents have bad teeth that flashed metallic at me from above my crib, and my sister has been getting cavities steadily since high school. I've been fairly lucky, but this summer's decision to quit smoking had some repercussions -- specifically the replacement of the cigarette with the Tic Tac. Look, it worked, okay? It may have been a drastically flawed plan, but I'm a non-smoker, an ex-smoker, and last night I had five chain-smokers in my apartment, chain-smoking, and I didn't feel any desire for a drag at all. NONE, MOTHERFUCKER. Mostly because my teeth are aching. Apparently coating your teeth with sugar every half hour for four months can lead to dental disaster. We! Make! Holes in teeth! Thursday afternoon I found out that I had three cavities, one of which had metastasized so quickly from my last visit in February (when there was no decay at all!) that it requires the dreaded canal. Well, actually, the dentist told me I had three, and I was like "what about this down here?" And he was like, what, where? And I was all, down here on the left, brah, remember when you shot a jet of water there and I just about leapt from your chair? And he's all, "well let me take a poke with my pokey-thing... ah, well what do you know! You're right! You should be a dentist!" And I was all "Ha ha maybe YOU should be a Dentist!" but I only said that in my internal blogging voice. So four cavities, my friends. So which stressor is the main source of this roiling unease in my stomach? Who cares, it's impossible to tell until the responsible stressor is removed. Which could be tonight if it's baseball, but if it's teeth it's gonna be around for a while now. And apparently everybody responding to my craigslist ad is "quiet, responsible, respectful, and clean." Bullshit. 0 comments |
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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS Chan Marshall Rotem of the IDF Eleanor Friedberger Amy Goodman Bernardine Dohrn ('69) Maya Rudolph Joanna Newsom Imogen Heap Caroline Dhavernas Shana Rae Ray DISALLOWED FOREVER "I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!" - "from whence" - "...the exception that proves the rule" - any use of the question "spit or swallow?" - the phrase "drop trou" - fake-o reviewer verbs: "penned" for wrote "helmed" for directed "lensed" for whatever - "expat" - the euphemism "passed away" - pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!" (see also: "grassy-ass!") PET PEEVES "confinscated" - trying children "as adults" - "drownded" - misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT. - tattoos in the Courier font - any use of Comic Sans |