Universal Donor
We can ill afford
another Klendathu

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You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:

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PAGES UD MADE:

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My Books Page

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My Reviews Page

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My Reference Page

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My Music Page

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My Pictures

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My Store

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

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My LiveJournal

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My MySpace music page

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My Flickr page

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My del.icio.us page

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My Last.fm page

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My Amazon Wishlist

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HEAVY ROTATION

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Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes

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BLOGS ETC

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claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

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qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

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dead amusement pks
craters!

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all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield

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PRAISE & REVIEWS

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"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

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Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

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Razor Ection







WHO LINKS TO UD?

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• from Technorati
• from Google
• from Yahoo



and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

  Some people have the gene that allows them to read maps. This may or may not be the same gene that keeps people from getting lost even without a map -- that special kinesthetic metamap in your head that tilts with the compass and knows where you are in relation to your point of departure and your destination. If they are different genes, I have both, and my sister has neither. She needs two sets of directions: one to a strange destination, and one from that place back home. She's incapable of reversing directions, and it took me too many years to realize that this was not a character flaw born of laziness. It is important to figure out who in your life can't read maps, and to make sure that they're not sitting in the passenger seat with the map in their lap. Badness ensues.
     I'm cuckoo for maps. I love maps. I used to have my hallway absolutely papered with the things, and every map to a distant city was like a memory of being there. I had maps of the moon and Mars, too, and I think I would have felt at home there too. But you know what's a fucked-up city? London. I don't want to go there because even with a map, you appear to be fucked. Short of walking around with an open A-Z in front of your phiz, which is a jolly invitation for some ruffian to help himself to your cash, you need a local guide. But you know what? Don't go to London right now, or anywhere outside of the U.S., unless you're planning to stay there for a while, because the rest of the world hate hate hates us right now. If you do move out of the country for a while, never, ever refer to yourself as an "expat," because I will find you and slap you hard. One time I left the country and I got stuck in Copenhagen, which might have been cool if I hadn't run out of money, which meant that all I could do was read big books in exotic Danish plazas. Something you might not know about the Danes? They spend a lot of time drinking beer in plazas.
     I feel a strong desire to run away right now, but since my finances are less than optimal, this manifests as a near-narcoleptic need to sleep that comes over me if I am not directly stimulated for five minutes straight. Anyone else got the post-election narcolepsy?
posted by Universal Donor 4:23 PM 0 comments

OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha

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You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)

Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

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Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

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Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

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"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
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"from whence"
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"...the exception that proves the rule"
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any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
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the phrase "drop trou"
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fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
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"expat"
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the euphemism
"passed away"
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pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")

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PET PEEVES

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"confinscated"
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trying children "as adults"
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"drownded"
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misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
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tattoos in the Courier font
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any use of Comic Sans

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