Universal Donor
We can ill afford
another Klendathu

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You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:

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PAGES UD MADE:

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My Books Page

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My Reviews Page

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My Reference Page

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My Music Page

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My Pictures

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My Store

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

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My LiveJournal

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My MySpace music page

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My Flickr page

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My del.icio.us page

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My Last.fm page

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My Amazon Wishlist

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HEAVY ROTATION

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Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes

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BLOGS ETC

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claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

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qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

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dead amusement pks
craters!

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all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield

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PRAISE & REVIEWS

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"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

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Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

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Razor Ection







WHO LINKS TO UD?

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• from Technorati
• from Google
• from Yahoo



and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

  I know I've been gone, my pretties, but I'm back. I spent the last two days at home, under the weather, and on top of the terlet. Ah, winter's here! The trees are bare, the wind kisses the tip of your nose through the thin, cheap wool of your scarf; gastrointestinal bugs attack your tract (could it be from the stuffing? I know she cooked it inside the bird. Ooogle.), the sky turns purple as an alcoholic bruise, the stanking muddles of slush soak your shoes, and the stray kittens in the alley are one cold night away from their icy concrete graves. Boo winter!
     A new Subway sandwich joint opened near my office, and I have a complaint about some bullshit. The Subway people are olfactory liars: they use a hidden exhaust fan to blow the smell of their "fresh cooked bread" into the path of hungry pedestrians. But it's big fat stupidheaded lies. The smell is amazing, wonderful, and obviously a concoction of a group of highly skilled and compensated chemists (probably Germans); it is most definitely not the result of the process by which they bake their hideous lumps of bread-like caca. It reminds me of the street carts that sell hot nuts (yes I said hott nutts) which smell like god's apple pie but when you eat them they taste like nuts with sugar on them. It is cruel, misleading advertising that ingeniously circumvents all existing false advertising and fraud legislation. Too clever.
     Now to update you on my opinion of that U2 song from the iPod or iTunes commercial. My coworker has the album and insists on playing it, so I've heard the song in its hacky entirety. To translate my comment into Eurotrash, in which the song itself is written: "The song, she is awful like poop." I'd gladly cheesegrate my nutsack if you promised me that I'd never again have to hear these lyrics, which can't even pretend to have any depth or meaning, no matter how loud Bono shrieks them into his Jameson-soaked microphone, or how much he bends his knees and looks like the champ of the Chateau Marmont limbo contest:"Hello, Hello (Hola!)/ I'm at a place called vertigo/ It's everything I wish I didn't know/ but you give me something i can feel/feee-eee-eel/yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah /yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah/" I MEAN COME ON PEOPLE. "It's everything I wish I didn't know" could be an interesting idea coming out of the mouth of somebody interesting, but everything that follows it makes puke climb my esophagus in an eager attempt at egress. Gang, this is hideous, lazy, and stupid songwriting. I hate the people at Apple for legitimizing it while at the same time besmirching the entire iPod campaign. The song is a balloon filled halfway with pus and left on your doorstep because they are too lazy to throw it. This is worse than phoning it in: this is having your personal assistant text-message it in.
     And finally today, just a horrifying piece from Democracy Now! this morning:

Abstinence-Only Programs Spread Misinformation About AIDS & Abortion -- A new Congressional report has found that many students participating in federally funded abstinence-only programs have been taught misleading and inaccurate information about abortion, homosexuality and AIDS. Students have been taught that abortion can lead to sterility and suicide, that half the gay male teenagers in the United States have tested positive for AIDS, and that touching a person's genitals can "result in pregnancy." This according to a report in the Washington Post. The Congressional report found that for the past three years, the Bush administration has been strongly promoting these abstinence programs even though they frequently relied on medically inaccurate or misleading information, often in direct contradiction to the findings of government scientists. The Congressional report examined the 13 most widely used abstinence-only curricula; only two of the program were deemed to be accurate.

posted by Universal Donor 4:24 PM 0 comments

OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha

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You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)

Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

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Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

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Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

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"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
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"from whence"
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"...the exception that proves the rule"
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any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
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the phrase "drop trou"
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fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
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"expat"
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the euphemism
"passed away"
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pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")

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PET PEEVES

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"confinscated"
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trying children "as adults"
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"drownded"
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misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
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tattoos in the Courier font
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any use of Comic Sans

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