Universal Donor
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You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:

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PAGES UD MADE:

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My Books Page

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My Reviews Page

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My Reference Page

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My Music Page

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My Pictures

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My Store

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

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My LiveJournal

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My MySpace music page

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My Flickr page

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My del.icio.us page

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My Last.fm page

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My Amazon Wishlist

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HEAVY ROTATION

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Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes

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BLOGS ETC

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claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

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qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

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dead amusement pks
craters!

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all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield

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PRAISE & REVIEWS

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"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

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Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

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Razor Ection







WHO LINKS TO UD?

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• from Technorati
• from Google
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and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

  Yesterday while showing this here blog to a new reader, I chuckled at something I read over his shoulder. Incredulously, he's all: "you laugh at your own blog?" like I'm some kind of literary baby-raper. But shit, dog, I wouldn't write this thing if it didn't make me laugh. I record music that I like to listen to, and I'm lucky as hell that other people happen to like it too. It's sort of the same thing here, except that I don't consciously write things I think I'd like to read. The reason I can laugh at my prose -- even very recent prose -- is that I forget what I've written as soon as I write it. In order to chug out my posts, I pick some topics, beer-bong a gallon of piping-hot Irish Breakfast tea, chew a couple of Ritalin, and have my assistant tape my wrists to the edge of my desk so I can't do anything but type. I then enter a fugue-state, accessing the part of my subconscious in charge of run-on sentences, shameless embellishment, and profanity. Hallelujah! If I'm lucky, half an hour later -- when I've sweated the tape off -- there's a postable clump of words staring back at me. As long as I haven't insulted anybody who could reasonably be expected to kill me for it, it's copy, paste, post!
     Speaking of Ritalin, I swapped some of mine for this new pill Concerta, because that's the way I do, yo. My friend said "it's like Ritalin," which was good enough for me. But I looked it up this morning and indeed, it is exactly like Ritalin in that in contains the same active ingredient, but released over time, unlike my immediate release generics. But if you'll forgive a little bit of drug geekery, I'm gonna paste a rather large chunk of the patient info here, because this pill is totally magical. The various emphases are mine:

CONCERTA™ uses osmotic pressure to deliver methylphenidate HCl at a controlled rate. The system, which resembles a conventional tablet in appearance, comprises an osmotically active trilayer core surrounded by a semipermeable membrane with an immediate-release drug overcoat. The trilayer core is composed of two drug layers containing the drug and excipients, and a push layer containing osmotically active components. There is a precision-laser drilled orifice on the drug-layer end of the tablet. In an aqueous environment, such as the gastrointestinal tract, the drug overcoat dissolves within one hour, providing an initial dose of methylphenidate. Water permeates through the membrane into the tablet core. As the osmotically active polymer excipients expand, methylphenidate is released through the orifice. The membrane controls the rate at which water enters the tablet core, which in turn controls drug delivery. The biologically inert components of the tablet remain intact during gastrointestinal transit and are eliminated in the stool as a tablet shell along with insoluble core components.

Okay. First of all, congratulations and kudos to the people at Alza for bringing us the term "drug overcoat," which just sounds really nice and warm to me. But they deserve a prize for the real trick of Concerta, which is this: it is not a pill -- it is a gun that shoots Ritalin. If your eyes glaze over when they encounter indented chunks of barely technical text and you skipped down here, here's the scoop: you take this thing that looks like a pill but is actually a biochemical machine, a pharmacological Maxwell's Demon. The outer coating dissolves and shoots you a blast of Ritalin to get you started (that's the overcoat). Then your tummy juices osmose into the core of the pill, forcing the drug in the core out of the muzzle of the drug gun and into your tummy, but slowly, gently, like the soft bullets in that awesome Flaming Lips song that I can never get out of my head. Then the gun, empty of its medicinal bullets, travels down your intestines to sneak away with your poop. Magic! The crazy part is that nobody reads these things but me, and I'm sure doctors that prescribe this aren't saying to their patients "oh by the way this isn't a traditional pill, it's an osmotic drug gun. Merry Christmas!" You know? Then again, who cares?
posted by Universal Donor 11:34 AM 0 comments

OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha

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You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)

Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

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Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

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Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

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"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
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"from whence"
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"...the exception that proves the rule"
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any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
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the phrase "drop trou"
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fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
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"expat"
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the euphemism
"passed away"
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pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")

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PET PEEVES

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"confinscated"
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trying children "as adults"
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"drownded"
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misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
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tattoos in the Courier font
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any use of Comic Sans

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