Universal Donor
We can ill afford
another Klendathu

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You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:

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PAGES UD MADE:

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My Books Page

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My Reviews Page

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My Reference Page

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My Music Page

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My Pictures

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My Store

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

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My LiveJournal

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My MySpace music page

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My Flickr page

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My del.icio.us page

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My Last.fm page

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My Amazon Wishlist

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HEAVY ROTATION

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Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes

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BLOGS ETC

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claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

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qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

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dead amusement pks
craters!

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all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield

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PRAISE & REVIEWS

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"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

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Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

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Razor Ection







WHO LINKS TO UD?

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• from Technorati
• from Google
• from Yahoo



and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

  My surgery is tomorrow, and I don't know what shape I'll be in vis-a-vis posting for a while. I know this is ambulatory outpatient surgery, but I intend to milk it for all it's worth. Here's something: they said that a condition of my release was that I had to pee for them. My dad, hearing about this, goes "Huh. You'd think they'd was to drug test you before the surgery." Har de har. But seriously, if you can't prove to them that you can pee, they won't let you go. Apparently it's at least possible that the doctor will completely obstruct my urethra, requiring more surgery immediately before I fill up with poison.
     Last night I almost sliced off a goodly hunk of my left index finger while trying to slice myself a moderate piece of homemade cookie dough. Bah! Moderation! Yet again you are my downfall! I mean, I love bleeding as much as the next guy, especially the kind of flow that grows out of control even as you cast about for something with which to stanch it. Whoo hoo, drops on the floor! Drops on the counter! I'm a gushing bloodfountain! Medic! Still, once the Band-Aid is on, it's like total yawnsville. I don't want lingering pain. I certainly don't want to reopen the wound the next morning while tying my fucking shoes. Like I said, it only happened because I tried to subdivide the remaining inch of cookie dough, instead of just admitting to myself that I was going to eat the whole thing, after rolling it around in the sugar bowl for that extra-special textural blast of sweetness. I should know myself better. Self control is not my strong point -- it only seems like it is because I abstain from drinking and smoking weed. But I only skip those because they make me feel immediately, pointedly bad. I'm as smart as a dog avoiding a shock, is all. When it comes to food that is terrible for me, I only avoid those foods that make me feel immediately, pointedly bad, like most junk and fast food. But cookie dough? Don't feel so bad. Mmm. Feels gooood.
posted by Universal Donor 4:52 PM 0 comments

OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha

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You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)

Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

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Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

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Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

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"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
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"from whence"
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"...the exception that proves the rule"
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any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
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the phrase "drop trou"
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fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
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"expat"
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the euphemism
"passed away"
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pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")

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PET PEEVES

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"confinscated"
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trying children "as adults"
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"drownded"
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misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
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tattoos in the Courier font
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any use of Comic Sans

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