Universal Donor
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You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:

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PAGES UD MADE:

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My Books Page

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My Reviews Page

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My Reference Page

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My Music Page

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My Pictures

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My Store

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

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My LiveJournal

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My MySpace music page

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My Flickr page

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My del.icio.us page

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My Last.fm page

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My Amazon Wishlist

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HEAVY ROTATION

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Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes

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BLOGS ETC

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claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

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qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

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dead amusement pks
craters!

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all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield

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PRAISE & REVIEWS

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"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

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Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

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Razor Ection







WHO LINKS TO UD?

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• from Technorati
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and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

  This product is not for everyone, admittedly. You probably don't even own a yo-yo. But there are people who take their yo-yos very seriously and need to protect them when they travel -- because god knows they're not going anywhere without their yo-yos. Ha! Not likely, pal. Travel without a full compliment of yo? I don't think so. A yo-yo is a friend, a companion, an all-purpose tool not unlike a Leatherman, an exercise accessory, and a solid chunk of flying self-defense.
     Seriously. Ooh, it's dark here in this underground garage below the Bellagio hotel in Las Vegas, where I've just won a bucketful of big money at the crap table, where everybody liked me and was cheering for me! I suppose I should have cashed in the chips and hired a bodyguard like the Floor Manager suggested, but I think the chips are so cool and I wanted to hold onto them -- they make a great sound when they click together, and I like when you give a waitress a tip with a chip instead of paper money like always. And my waitress at the bar over by the exit that goes to the pool, well, let's just say we're really hitting it off. She refilled my coffee way more times than necessary, and every time she bopped over, she was like, "Hi hon! Drop of hot?" which made me smile every time! I showed her a quick Rock the Cradle on the way out. She was dazzled, all right.
     Anyway yeah, this garage is dark. But I'm not scared of that, because in the elevator, I slipped Big Jilm's string over my middle finger, and he's locked and loaded. Big Jilm is a yo I had fabricated to my specifications by this guy I met at the last con who can make a yo-yo out of anything -- he can do temporary joke ones out of food, like the avocado yo-yo that he Around-the-Worlded right into a Cuisinart to make Guacamole, which actually tasted really good, and he even had one made out of paper, an origami one. He made Big Jilm out of titanium (the frame), lead (the weights), and surgical steel (for the blades). I've tested the action, and my weeks of practice will serve me well if any punk tries to come between me and my bucket of chips. I can decapitate a Barbie at ten paces, buddy. So you think twice. Think twice before you mess with Captain Yo.
posted by Universal Donor 4:49 PM 0 comments

OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha

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You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)

Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

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Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

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Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

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"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
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"from whence"
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"...the exception that proves the rule"
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any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
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the phrase "drop trou"
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fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
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"expat"
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the euphemism
"passed away"
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pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")

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PET PEEVES

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"confinscated"
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trying children "as adults"
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"drownded"
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misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
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tattoos in the Courier font
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any use of Comic Sans

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