UNIVERSAL DONOR: MA VIE EN CROUTE
|
||
|
Universal Donor
We can ill afford another Klendathu  feed it up!
| UD email
You are just a number to me! And that number is: PAGES UD MADE: My Books Page My Reviews Page My Reference Page My Music Page My Pictures My Store UD-RELATED PAGES: My LiveJournal My MySpace music page My Flickr page My del.icio.us page My Last.fm page My Amazon Wishlist HEAVY ROTATION Dan Deacon: Bromst Animal Collective: Merriweather Post Pavillion Bon Iver: For Emma, Forever Ago Vampire Weekend: Vampire Weekend Fleet Foxes: Fleet Foxes BLOGS ETC claude le monde nuncstans rock 'em stock 'em tomato nation postmodern drunkard tuckova 22 ghastly mess constintina total virility fuzzysquid drunken bee stacey nightmare elyse from ANTM stereolabrat dark side points jf_franklin 123 i love you READ NOW brotherhood 2.0 NOT BLOGS ETC qwantz (dinosaur comix) go fug yourself the burg cat and girl book of ratings married to the sea icanhascheezburger fire joe morgan fivethirtyeight.com READ NOW hospitality on parade WEIRD LOVE dead amusement pks craters! all content © 2002-2010 Jeremy Broomfield 
Hosted by: HostRocket.Com Comments by: YACCS PRAISE & REVIEWS "[UD] is a genius." --Christian Oates "[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not." --Tricia Howey MOTTO egeo huic vigorum MY WRESTLING NAME Titan Gently MY PUNK NAME Razor Ection 
WHO LINKS TO UD? • from Technorati • from Google • from Yahoo and here's something weird: my place in Humor 3-space |
Friday, April 29, 2005
When I watch TV, I imagine myself doing what the TV people do. I saw a comedian and in my head I became a stand-up, and I wrote some jokes in my head, but they were all ridiculous, self-referential metajokes about how weird/hard it was being a stand-up comedian. Then I watched this show called Deadliest Catch, which set a record for the having title that most prevents mockery of itself by being so silly that it already seems to be mocking itself, which is pretty postmodern for the Discovery channel. Also, the show highlighted another vocation that god did not intend for people whose first name is "Universal" and whose last name is "Donor": Alaskan King Crab Fishing. It's not for me, kids! I'll tell you why later.
I've been sick for the last two days, home and achy and a little bit ooky in the stomach, and this partially explains why no post; I don't turn on the computer when I'm home sick because it feel too much like I'm at work. Or something. So I'm sorry about that. In a couple of hours I will have seen The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and I suppose I'll have a review for you, or something. But I'm also going to be at my Dad's house after the show, where it might be tricky getting to a computer from which I might post to this. Then again, it might be easy. Ohhhhh! Boring Stupidity. Talk later, kidlets. * * * Okay. I'm back from the movies, and although Claude le Monde read me a sourpuss review from a heartbroken nerd who felt that the movie raped Doug Adams's corpse with Hitler's dick, I thought it was really fucking fun. [CLM, do a favor and post a link to that review in the comments, yeah? I can't be bothered to remember where you said it was, nor have I the cell phone batteries to call you and ask, and anyway I don't think the guy who was so wrong about the movie deserves to be linked from my main page, heh. Let him be linked from the comments ghetto.] The theather was so nerd-packed that it was like Star Wars Episode 3: A Clone of the Attack Helmets and Eyeliner Voice Synthesizers opened a few months early, and there were definitely some in-joke cameos that went right over my head (you know, visual gags that elicited a theaterful of Dorito-fingered virginal titters), but the presence of me and J.Ro in the venue totally raised its hottness average, its awesomeness average, and of course its "I have had sex ever" average). The movie may or may not have been faithful to its source, but I don't really care because although at some point I did read all the books, I think that they're probably pretty silly and that my sense of humor is waaaaay more mature now. See below for proof of this. Anypoop, I haven't enjoyed myself at a movie so much since I ♥ Huckabees, which caused me to have paroxysms and to physically abuse my viewing companion with birthday-punch style glee. I know that didn't make any sense. Anyway, as CLM points out in comment #1 to this post, I do totally pretend that my parents don't know about this blog because I'm afraid I would self-censor if we discussed its existence openly. And I'm at the Dad's house and he's going to totally see this if I don't stop writing now. So this lame post continues to be lame. But you can see the movie in the meantime between now and when I grow some fucking grown-up ballsax, because it's worth ten bucks. Dudes, I am an awesome movie reviewer. I am sooooo the new Siskel. Boo-yaa! 0 comments |
OTHER REVIEWS: Scrabble NEW! LATEST BOOK REVIEWS: The Game Moneyball One-Upsmanship Siddhartha You need the Fear Not Guide to Life. Buy it already. ($4) Now available! The Broomfield Variations CD ($10) or go to The UD Store 
MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS Chan Marshall Rotem of the IDF Eleanor Friedberger Amy Goodman Bernardine Dohrn ('69) Maya Rudolph Joanna Newsom Imogen Heap Caroline Dhavernas Shana Rae Ray DISALLOWED FOREVER "I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!" - "from whence" - "...the exception that proves the rule" - any use of the question "spit or swallow?" - the phrase "drop trou" - fake-o reviewer verbs: "penned" for wrote "helmed" for directed "lensed" for whatever - "expat" - the euphemism "passed away" - pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!" (see also: "grassy-ass!") PET PEEVES "confinscated" - trying children "as adults" - "drownded" - misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT. - tattoos in the Courier font - any use of Comic Sans |