Universal Donor
We can ill afford
another Klendathu

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feed it up! | UD email

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You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:

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PAGES UD MADE:

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My Books Page

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My Reviews Page

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My Reference Page

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My Music Page

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My Pictures

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My Store

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

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My LiveJournal

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My MySpace music page

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My Flickr page

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My del.icio.us page

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My Last.fm page

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My Amazon Wishlist

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HEAVY ROTATION

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Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes

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BLOGS ETC

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claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

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qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

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dead amusement pks
craters!

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all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield

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PRAISE & REVIEWS

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"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

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Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

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Razor Ection







WHO LINKS TO UD?

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• from Technorati
• from Google
• from Yahoo



and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

  Yesterday my boss asked me if I was gonna come in today and stay awake. Apparently, it's "inappropriate" to take a nap or two in the spare office -- news to me! Been doin' it for ages, dude! Still it seemed prudent, for today at least, to try to stay conscious for eight consecutive hours. To that end, I got an extra big coffee, but the fucktards downstairs changed brands or something, and now the hazelnut tastes like actual nuts -- and not the kind that grow on trees. Hack.
     Plan A therefore aborted, I took some Ritalin, which is nothing special, but if I'm hoping to take an afternoon nap, I tend to skip the morning dose, so this was a sign of good faith on my part. Ha! How many of you plan a midday nap into your day? I'm special! Except not anymore, goddamnit. Plan C involved the creation of the ultimate WAKE UP iTunes playlist, filled with songs that would make it impossible to get sleepy, or at least annoy my coworkers so much that their negative vibes would keep me on edge. I trolled my library for the most random, loud, obnoxious, or upbeat, toe-tapping, along-singing songs. I ended up with a playlist of Jon Spencer Blue Explosion, Ministry, Pantera, Hot Snakes, White Stripes, The Causey Way, Lightning Bolt, The Specials, Cheap Trick, The Fucking Champs, Beck, Ramones, Dead Kennedys, etc. (Hey look, she said I couldn't sleep -- she didn't say anything about doing actual work. I hardly think it was implied, either. One step at a time!!)
     I still got sleepy, a little bit, so I just took some Adderall, which is just a scary-ass cocktail of aphetamines. It'll keep you awake, okay, yeah, but I can feel the muscles in my lower back ratcheting up like a turnbuckle. And my butt, for some reason. Now I won't be hungry for lunch, which will just make me feel weaker later. I could barely finish my breakfast!
     OH MA GAH this is so fascinating, Universal Donor! Why don't you tell us of your experiences trying to buy tickets to Star Wars: Episode III -- Screaming Wookiee Planet online! That would be really captivating too! What was the consistency of your last bowel movement? SHUT UP!!!!
posted by Universal Donor 1:56 PM 0 comments

OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha

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You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)

Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

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Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

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Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

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"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
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"from whence"
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"...the exception that proves the rule"
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any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
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the phrase "drop trou"
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fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
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"expat"
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the euphemism
"passed away"
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pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")

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PET PEEVES

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"confinscated"
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trying children "as adults"
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"drownded"
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misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
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tattoos in the Courier font
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any use of Comic Sans

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