UNIVERSAL DONOR: MA VIE EN CROUTE

Universal Donor
We can ill afford
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is:



PAGES UD MADE:

My Books Page

My Reviews Page

My Reference Page

My Music Page

My Pictures

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

My LiveJournal

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My Flickr page

My del.icio.us page

My Last.fm page

My Amazon Wishlist




HEAVY ROTATION

Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes




BLOGS ETC

claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

dead amusement pks
craters!


all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield



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PRAISE & REVIEWS

"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

Razor Ection



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and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

Wednesday, June 01, 2005
 
In the deli I heard this song, which I'm sure I've heard before, but this listen was the camel-breaking straw, the critical mass of awfulness, because I realized that it was THE WORST SONG EVAH. Well, the worst song ever for today, anyway. Armed with this minimal amount of information, I naturally assumed the singer was Dave Matthews. I came back upstairs and sang a sort of scat version to my coworkers, who, after accusing me of swallowing a cat AND the midget who was in the process of strangling it, I identified the perpetrator as a man who goes by Five for Fighting, who is terrible in his own right, but is really damned to hell forever by the company he keeps in the Recommended if You Like/Similar Artists list on his Allmusic page: Counting Crows, Creeper Lagoon, Jack Johnson, John Mayer, Rainer Maria, Sister Hazel, and Train. A-whomit! Ga-hackle! Honestly, I haven't heard most of those "artists," but reading that list makes my teeth hurt. Am I right?
     I'm going to see Sin City again tonight with a passel of fools I've snookered into joining me. One of those fools is my dad, who hasn't seen Star Wars Episode III: Revenging Attack of the Lava Senators and suggested that we sneak into a late show of that treasure after seeing the first flick. What a crazy dad, yeah? But I'm feeling a little daffy myself, my little kidlets, and since tomorrow I'll have to put away childish things and see through a glass darkly and all that shit because I'm turning stupid THIRTY FUCK YOU ALL, I'd better yuk it up while I've still got short pants on. That's a lot of movie, though, and what if I get hungry? I might have to eat a Star Wars nerd's oily face.
     This next bit is lazy and bad blogging, but I thought it would be courteous to give future historians a snapshot of my mental state of the eve of my fourth decade on earth. Here are some websites I've been to today, for no fucking reason:
Naval Radio Operations During World War II
yurts!
Speak Northern Irelandish
lyrics to the Decemberists' The Mariner's Revenge Song, which has this beauty in it: ""Find him, find him/ tie him to a pole and break his fingers/ to splinters/ drag him to a hole until he wakes up/ naked/ clawing at the ceiling of his grave." That's Hott!
The Defense of General Yamashita, "The Tiger of Malaya"
My gal Michiko's review of Sean Wilsey's Oh the Glory of it All
     Okay. Stop the presses. An FBI agent just walked into my office and handed me his business card and a subpoena. This in itself is not all that weird; he's just investigating wrongdoing by some lawyer in New York State and we can give him what he needs. The weird, great thing is his name: Bullets W. Campbell. On the rizzle, and for sheezy!

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
-
"from whence"
-
"...the exception that proves the rule"
-
any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
-
the phrase "drop trou"
-
fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
-
"expat"
-
the euphemism
"passed away"
-
pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")



PET PEEVES

"confinscated"
-
trying children "as adults"
-
"drownded"
-
misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
-
tattoos in the Courier font
-
any use of Comic Sans