UNIVERSAL DONOR: MA VIE EN CROUTE

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We can ill afford
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HEAVY ROTATION

Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes




BLOGS ETC

claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

dead amusement pks
craters!


all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield



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PRAISE & REVIEWS

"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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MY WRESTLING NAME

Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

Razor Ection



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and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

Monday, July 04, 2005
 
The following is partially a response to AHC's comment asking for my opinion of George A. Romero's latest movie. I haven't seen Land of the Dead yet, and I know that because I'm a zombie expert, I'm expected to go out and sample the latest entries to the genre. But my problem is that I'm almost always bothered by technical aspects of new zombie movies -- things that wouldn't bother non-aficionados -- and it subtracts from my enjoyment of the whole concept of zombies. Stupid, I know. But it's like I was filled with complete and total love around my fifth viewing of Dawn of the Dead, my braineater tank was topped off, and I was just delirious with zombie love joy. But every time I see a zombie rule broken (skeletons walking around in Army of Darkness; rage-virus-infected non-zombie zombies sprinting around London in 28 Days Later) it breaks my heart a little more, even if I like the movie as a whole (see the Fear Not Guide to Life for a detailed treatment of zombie rules). Basically, I don't want my store of zombie love to run out any sooner than it has to.
     Still, of all the recent zombie releases, a new Romero film should be the least likely to disappoint, right? I know that I will see this film eventually, even though it appears to have Dennis Hopper in it. I may even see it in the theater. But the idea of sentient zombies forming an organized rebellion goes against everything I know about zombies. Also it scares the wet poop out of me. One of the nice things about zombies (heh) is that they are really just autonomous bags of infectious meat with one motivating drive. This makes them relatively easy to deal with, as long as you are well armed, amply supplied, ensconced in an impregnable stronghold, and able to fly. You don't actually have to be able to fly under your own steam; a helicopter and unlimited fuel will usually suffice. But as long as you've got that little checklist covered, you're good to go until the whole thing blows over -- which I believe it will. I need to believe it. Oh god.

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
-
"from whence"
-
"...the exception that proves the rule"
-
any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
-
the phrase "drop trou"
-
fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
-
"expat"
-
the euphemism
"passed away"
-
pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")



PET PEEVES

"confinscated"
-
trying children "as adults"
-
"drownded"
-
misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
-
tattoos in the Courier font
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any use of Comic Sans