UNIVERSAL DONOR: MA VIE EN CROUTE
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Universal Donor
We can ill afford another Klendathu  feed it up!
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You are just a number to me! And that number is: PAGES UD MADE: My Books Page My Reviews Page My Reference Page My Music Page My Pictures My Store UD-RELATED PAGES: My LiveJournal My MySpace music page My Flickr page My del.icio.us page My Last.fm page My Amazon Wishlist HEAVY ROTATION Dan Deacon: Bromst Animal Collective: Merriweather Post Pavillion Bon Iver: For Emma, Forever Ago Vampire Weekend: Vampire Weekend Fleet Foxes: Fleet Foxes BLOGS ETC claude le monde nuncstans rock 'em stock 'em tomato nation postmodern drunkard tuckova 22 ghastly mess constintina total virility fuzzysquid drunken bee stacey nightmare elyse from ANTM stereolabrat dark side points jf_franklin 123 i love you READ NOW brotherhood 2.0 NOT BLOGS ETC qwantz (dinosaur comix) go fug yourself the burg cat and girl book of ratings married to the sea icanhascheezburger fire joe morgan fivethirtyeight.com READ NOW hospitality on parade WEIRD LOVE dead amusement pks craters! all content © 2002-2010 Jeremy Broomfield 
Hosted by: HostRocket.Com Comments by: YACCS PRAISE & REVIEWS "[UD] is a genius." --Christian Oates "[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not." --Tricia Howey MOTTO egeo huic vigorum MY WRESTLING NAME Titan Gently MY PUNK NAME Razor Ection 
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Tuesday, November 01, 2005
DREAMS
I usually don't post about my dreams, because nobody cares about other people's dreams (with the clear exception bluntly stated by Built to Spill in the song Made Up Dreams: "No one wants to hear what you dreamt about/ Unless you dreamt about/ Them.") I seriously believe this. People who habitually blog about their dreams have serious problems with empathy -- they can't put themselves in their readers' shoes to figure out that such posts are generally insufferable, uninteresting, solipsistic. If you only blog dreams once a year, people will read them, because they'll figure it's gonna be worthwhile. So, prefaced by those apologies, here's an interchange from my dream last night: LINDSEY LOHAN: Here comes that Hilary Duff bitch. UNIVERSAL DONOR: Hi Hilary! HILARY DUFF: Hi Jer! LL: (rolls eyes) Tsk! Hhhhuuuhhhhh! UD: What? LL: Why would you say hi to her? Just to get my goat? UD: What? No. I wouldn't do something "just to piss you off." And if you interpret my saying "hi" to someone as an aggressive act against you, you're getting a little twisted, a little too world-revolves-around-you-y. Though, come to think of it, not all that atypical for a chick. Not the solipsism, but the polar misinterpretation of an innocuous male statement. LL: (sighs) Listen. How long have have you thought that we were going out? UD: (taken aback) Huh? What do you mean? LL: How long have you thought of me as your girlfriend? UD: (defensively)WHAT?!? I haven't ever! That's crazy! What are you talking about? I'm not delusional-- LL: Because you should know this: every time we've had sex... UD: (jaw drops in utter shock) LL: ...which was seven times, EVERY time, you've taken a little "catnap" in the middle... UD: (still stunned, having had no idea they'd slept together) LL: ...you might have thought I didn't notice, but I did. UD: Oh. Um. You shouldn't take that personally! That's just medical. It doesn't mean I wasn't enjoying it! I'm sure you're great in bed! LL: I know I am. UD: I'm just tired, is all! ---------------------------------- PRAGUE ...Is a game that's been described in the comments section (thanks to Annie-poo!) as a party game, but here's my Internet version. I'll make four statements. One of the statements is a lie, all the other others are true. You guess which is the lie, and if you get it right, you win. (That's the most basic version; the original gave points to various players all guessing at the same time and all providing statement tetrads.) My house rules have a guideline that the lies are actual lies in spirit, not in technicality, for example, if my statement "I just drank a Snapple Iced Tea" were the false one, it would be because I didn't drink a Snapple, not because I really had a Diet Snapple Iced tea, or because I was still drinking it. That would be lame. So here are four very basic, unexciting statements. Guess which is the lie, and I'll make up much spicier statements the next time. 1. I just ate a Halloween size minipack of grape-flavored Now and Laters. 2. Last night I washed my hair with a product called Cinnamon Buns. 3. I religiously read the bridge column in the New York Times. 4. I have memorized a mnemonic song that lists all the elements on the periodic table. You know, now that I think about it, maybe the game is supposed to include three lies and one truth. Whoops. Somebody confirm or deny that? 0 comments |
OTHER REVIEWS: Scrabble NEW! LATEST BOOK REVIEWS: The Game Moneyball One-Upsmanship Siddhartha You need the Fear Not Guide to Life. Buy it already. ($4) Now available! The Broomfield Variations CD ($10) or go to The UD Store 
MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS Chan Marshall Rotem of the IDF Eleanor Friedberger Amy Goodman Bernardine Dohrn ('69) Maya Rudolph Joanna Newsom Imogen Heap Caroline Dhavernas Shana Rae Ray DISALLOWED FOREVER "I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!" - "from whence" - "...the exception that proves the rule" - any use of the question "spit or swallow?" - the phrase "drop trou" - fake-o reviewer verbs: "penned" for wrote "helmed" for directed "lensed" for whatever - "expat" - the euphemism "passed away" - pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!" (see also: "grassy-ass!") PET PEEVES "confinscated" - trying children "as adults" - "drownded" - misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT. - tattoos in the Courier font - any use of Comic Sans |