UNIVERSAL DONOR: MA VIE EN CROUTE

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HEAVY ROTATION

Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes




BLOGS ETC

claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

dead amusement pks
craters!


all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield



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PRAISE & REVIEWS

"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

Razor Ection



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and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

Wednesday, December 28, 2005
 
All right, I'm way behind on any kind of end-of-the-year feature, here. No index, summary, or anything. But here's a core dump to tide you over until I cobble together something that exhibits appropriate levels of annual closure.
     Oh my sweet Jesus fuck, there are a lot of people on the streets of Manhattan right now! I went out for lunch and had to punch my way through a rather larger than usual number of ovine obstacles. Tourists especially love to gather on midtown street corners in confused, upward-staring knots, and for some reason, every vacationing schoolchild in THE WORLD is out there too, either dangling frustratedly from some parental limb or bounding around like a pinball in the jet bumpers, screaming "kidnap me!" to any psychos in the area. Seriously, it's a pedophile's paradise out there. I wonder if I could clear the streets by going out there and saying something like "some one just stole a baby! Protect your children! Run!" or like "I heard someone's jabbing tourists with AIDS needles! Run back to your hotels! Baaaaa!" Whoops. Maybe not with the sheep sound at the end. Might discredit me a bit as a doomsayer.
     But so even though the streets are littered with human detritus, guess where I went that was completely empty? A bookstore! Best Buy's registers looked like they were hosting a "imitate a breadline" contest, but over at Coliseum Books, If you closed your eyes, spun around, and hurled a knife at random, it probably would have hit... a book. No joke. Then I guess you would have to buy the book, because of their policy: "You throw a knife into it, you bought it, you sociopathic knife-throwing goon."
     Seriously, why are all these people here? Christmas shopping should be over by now. Maybe they're staking out Times Square territory for the New Year's Rockin' Eve? Oooh, that police barricade looks better than the rest for getting crushed against! Let's get trampled in front of the Marriott Marquis! Or is it Marquee? Fuck it! Trample me NOW!!!!

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OTHER REVIEWS:
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LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha




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Buy it already. ($4)


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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
-
"from whence"
-
"...the exception that proves the rule"
-
any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
-
the phrase "drop trou"
-
fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
-
"expat"
-
the euphemism
"passed away"
-
pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")



PET PEEVES

"confinscated"
-
trying children "as adults"
-
"drownded"
-
misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
-
tattoos in the Courier font
-
any use of Comic Sans