Universal Donor
We can ill afford
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You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:

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PAGES UD MADE:

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My Books Page

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My Reviews Page

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My Reference Page

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My Music Page

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My Pictures

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My Store

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

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My LiveJournal

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My MySpace music page

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My Flickr page

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My del.icio.us page

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My Last.fm page

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My Amazon Wishlist

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HEAVY ROTATION

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Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes

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BLOGS ETC

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claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

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qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

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dead amusement pks
craters!

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all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield

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PRAISE & REVIEWS

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"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

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Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

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Razor Ection







WHO LINKS TO UD?

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• from Technorati
• from Google
• from Yahoo



and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

  I told you that I used to lick subway poles, and I'm sure that was a preamble to some post about being chronically germophobic. I hate to repeat myself, but I'm too lazy to search the archives to see what I've said on this subject in the past. And NO that is not a veiled request for somebody else to dig up any such posts -- I don't veil that kind of request. Okay, SHUT UP: 1, 2. Heh. That second one is kinda funny. Bucket of roaches, indeed.
     Let's begin again. I am not germophobic until I have a cold or a flu or something with icky phlegm-related symptoms that I want to GO AWAY. That is when I have the ability to... well if not turn into, at least empathize with my almost paralytically germophobic roommate lo, who sees the entire world as if Marg Helgenberger were holding a blacklight over it. But of course I can't be thinking about it all the time. So I touch things, remember to be afraid, and recoil in Tex Avery-style cartoon horror.
THINGS I TOUCHED TODAY AND IMMEDIATELY REGRETTED TOUCHING:
• Elevator button*
• Metrocard vending machine touchscreen
• Buzzer of doctor's office
• Own nose
• Pen-on-a-string at pharmacy
• Some railing somewhere
• Your mother
     You like how that list tells a story? I tell how I picked up a prescription, filled it, and sold it to your mother. She thinks my antihistamines are amphetamines. She's still sneezing, but her apartment is spotless. Waaaahhh! Glaargle.

* Let me mention that there is a huge amount of construction/renovation going on in my office building right now, so the elevators are filthy, littered with particulate debris and discarded hardware, but also lately I've noticed that they -- the elevators -- stink. They stink of Hard Work. It's not a smell I like, consisting as it does of 80% underarm odor and 20% soupy asscrack funk. Huuurk. What's up with the assbroth, laborers of the world?
posted by Universal Donor 3:03 PM 0 comments

OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha

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You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)

Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

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Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

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Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

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"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
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"from whence"
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"...the exception that proves the rule"
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any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
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the phrase "drop trou"
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fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
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"expat"
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the euphemism
"passed away"
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pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")

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PET PEEVES

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"confinscated"
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trying children "as adults"
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"drownded"
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misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
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tattoos in the Courier font
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any use of Comic Sans

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