Universal Donor
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You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:

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PAGES UD MADE:

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My Books Page

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My Reviews Page

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My Reference Page

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My Music Page

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My Pictures

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My Store

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

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My LiveJournal

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My MySpace music page

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My Flickr page

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My del.icio.us page

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My Last.fm page

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My Amazon Wishlist

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HEAVY ROTATION

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Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes

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BLOGS ETC

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claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

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qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

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dead amusement pks
craters!

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all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield

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PRAISE & REVIEWS

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"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

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Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

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Razor Ection







WHO LINKS TO UD?

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• from Technorati
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and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

  Movie Kisses are weird. It seems like movie characters always have to look at the lips of their kissing partners before they can kiss them. Do people do this in real life? Not always, right? Is this a convention, something taught in every acting class, like "there is no kiss without the look" repeated like catechism? Or does the practice propagate itself, consciously or unconsciously? (e.g. Do actors watch the look-then-kiss it and go "yeah, look at that! That works!" or are they just so moved by the scene that without realizing it, the next time they have a kiss scene of their own, they ape it without meaning to?) Are directors constantly screaming at their actors in vain (as in this even longer e.g. I've created to fill more lines with carriage returns)?:
      "Stop! Cut! Brad, I said DON'T look at the lips. Stop looking at the lips. Don't do it. Stop it stop it stop it. Just kiss 'em."
     "Right, Chief, my bad. Won't happen again."
     "Really now, Bradster? Because I've heard that bef--"
     "I got it. Got it now. No prob."
     "I'm trusting you here. No look. You know where they are: on her face, where yours are. Kiss them."
     "Yep. Got it."
     "Trusting you...."
     "Yep. Trust. Well-placed trust. I'm your man."
     "Not looking--"
     "Right."
     "--Just kissing."
     "Ten-four. Loud and clear."
     "Please now. I think you'll agree this falls under the umbrella of artistic choices made by the director."
     "Chief! Of course! I'm clay. You mold."
     "I'm trying, Bradski. Lord knows."
     "You're the artist here."
     "Well, thanks, but really. Um. Shall we try it? Again? This time with NO LOOKING AT THE LIPS?"
     Brad snaps his fingers and points at the director with a winning smile, cocking his head at a jaunty angle. Every female crew member sighs in unison.
     "Okay so if we're ready with the NO LOOK AT LIPS kiss shot, let's fucking do this thing."
     "Rolling."
     "Speed."
     "Scene 191, take 42."
     "Jesus god.... Action!"
     . . .
     "CUT FUCKING FUCK CUT MOTHERFUCK IT!"
     "Shee-it. Did I do it again, Chief?"
posted by Universal Donor 6:43 PM 0 comments

OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha

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You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)

Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

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Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

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Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

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"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
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"from whence"
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"...the exception that proves the rule"
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any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
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the phrase "drop trou"
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fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
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"expat"
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the euphemism
"passed away"
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pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")

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PET PEEVES

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"confinscated"
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trying children "as adults"
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"drownded"
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misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
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tattoos in the Courier font
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any use of Comic Sans

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