UNIVERSAL DONOR: MA VIE EN CROUTE
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Universal Donor
We can ill afford another Klendathu  feed it up!
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You are just a number to me! And that number is: PAGES UD MADE: My Books Page My Reviews Page My Reference Page My Music Page My Pictures My Store UD-RELATED PAGES: My LiveJournal My MySpace music page My Flickr page My del.icio.us page My Last.fm page My Amazon Wishlist HEAVY ROTATION Dan Deacon: Bromst Animal Collective: Merriweather Post Pavillion Bon Iver: For Emma, Forever Ago Vampire Weekend: Vampire Weekend Fleet Foxes: Fleet Foxes BLOGS ETC claude le monde nuncstans rock 'em stock 'em tomato nation postmodern drunkard tuckova 22 ghastly mess constintina total virility fuzzysquid drunken bee stacey nightmare elyse from ANTM stereolabrat dark side points jf_franklin 123 i love you READ NOW brotherhood 2.0 NOT BLOGS ETC qwantz (dinosaur comix) go fug yourself the burg cat and girl book of ratings married to the sea icanhascheezburger fire joe morgan fivethirtyeight.com READ NOW hospitality on parade WEIRD LOVE dead amusement pks craters! all content © 2002-2010 Jeremy Broomfield 
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Wednesday, March 22, 2006
As they renovate the office building, they've been making all the bathrooms wheelchair accessible, which is a good thing. But I've seen the results, and it looks like the new men's rooms have a stall and a urinal instead of the previous two-stall configuration. That's a drag. But the thing that's getting my goat lately is the retarded tango of bathroom keys. While our floor is renovated, we're forced to travel all over the building to floors with completed bathrooms, and in order to access those bathrooms, we need keys, which are provided by the building management. (I'll skip the detailed complaint about how slow the two working elevators are, which means that you can't wait till the last minute to dash to the bathroom.) What bothers me about this situation is the very concept of locking bathrooms.
I've always hated the way retail establishments blatantly lie to their customers about bathrooms ("we don't have a bathroom" -- FUCK YOU!), but I understand why they do it. They don't want a parade of anally incontinent homeless people spraying liquid feces all over the walls or whatever, so they create a blanket policy that denies the existence of the facilities even to clean, paying customers. Partly it's because the only people who clean it are the regular staff, and they don't want to clean up homeless poop, and even without homeless poop the place never gets cleaned and so is unsuitable for customers. But the office building doesn't get that much homeless traffic, and it has a janitorial staff that cleans the place nightly. We get some non-resident traffic, like messengers, salesmen, visitors, whatever. But this whole thing with needing a key is so irritating, such a pointless and pathetic flexing of administrative power. It's stupid power, too, second-class power: the power of petty bureaucrats and bouncers, of rent-a-cops and assistant principals. They can't do anything real or productive, so they assert themselves by making other people's lives more difficult, by creating time-consuming but ultimately ineffective barriers to progress. Grown-ups shouldn't have to ask permission to use a bathroom. (The musical Urinetown uses just this subject to explore systems of control: citizens must pay to urinate, every time they have to pee. Those who are too poor to afford the fee sometimes give in to their bodily pressures and let flow behind a building or into a bush, whereupon they are seized by the authorities and hauled off to "urinetown," never to be seen again.) 90% of the time, the bathrooms in the building are used by tenants, who pay fucking rent. The cost of installing and maintaining the locks and copying and distributing the keys could be better used to fix the goddamn elevators. And don't tell me it's for people's safety. Don't tell me about undesirables. It's all nonsense and justification after the fact. Bathrooms should be open. Bathrooms should be free. I said to PMD last night that one of the worst feelings in the world is needing to sleep but having no place to do it. One of the most irritating has to be needing to shit, but not being able to get into a bathroom because the door is locked. IN OTHER NEWS! I just added a link on the left to a page I've created for reviews of things other than books. Check it out. Also, I'll put a note in the upper right of this page (above the eagle) when I post new reviews, because I've been neglectful of the blog recently in favor of the review pages. Sorry. 0 comments |
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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS Chan Marshall Rotem of the IDF Eleanor Friedberger Amy Goodman Bernardine Dohrn ('69) Maya Rudolph Joanna Newsom Imogen Heap Caroline Dhavernas Shana Rae Ray DISALLOWED FOREVER "I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!" - "from whence" - "...the exception that proves the rule" - any use of the question "spit or swallow?" - the phrase "drop trou" - fake-o reviewer verbs: "penned" for wrote "helmed" for directed "lensed" for whatever - "expat" - the euphemism "passed away" - pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!" (see also: "grassy-ass!") PET PEEVES "confinscated" - trying children "as adults" - "drownded" - misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT. - tattoos in the Courier font - any use of Comic Sans |