Universal Donor
We can ill afford
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You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:

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PAGES UD MADE:

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My Books Page

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My Reviews Page

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My Reference Page

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My Music Page

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My Pictures

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My Store

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

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My LiveJournal

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My MySpace music page

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My Flickr page

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My del.icio.us page

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My Last.fm page

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My Amazon Wishlist

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HEAVY ROTATION

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Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes

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BLOGS ETC

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claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

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qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

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dead amusement pks
craters!

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all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield

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PRAISE & REVIEWS

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"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

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Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

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Razor Ection







WHO LINKS TO UD?

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• from Technorati
• from Google
• from Yahoo



and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

  God, you think you're safe when you single out something like the fedora for derision. You picked something so inarguably obsolete, so universally reviled, that it's stopped being a real thing and ascended to the status of punchline. (In fact, from a comedy standpoint, it was lazy, lazy, lazy -- if you had coupled it with "trenchcoat" instead of the "duster," you could have written straight to the Hack Writer's Guild (founded by the staff of MadTV back in '97) and demanded honorary membership, dues be damned.) There may be a few articles of clothing less acceptable to the zeitgeist than a fedora (see examples: 1, 2, 3), but even the fedora's acceptability relative to those monstrosities doesn't leave it in the realm of the wearable. Not even close!
     Now if a reader didn't know that these articles of clothing are not wearable except by actors portraying the mentally ill, I'd say that reader had deliberately spent time and energy avoiding this knowledge. Why would they do such a thing, you ask? Since they're (please god oh please) not wearing a fedora now, it seems they are acting in defense of a past -- in which they evidently wore a fedora.
     But hey! Wearing one in the past is no problem! Forgiveness is free in Jesus' America! "Mom" always said that It Takes All Kinds To Make a World, or maybe "one Man's Proof is another man's Pudding!" Oh wait, it goes: "To each his own" said the lady in the lime green terrycloth tracksuit from Juicy Couture as she blew a rooster.
     It's time for the reader to let go of all embarrassing things in his or her past, and to STOP pretending they're not embarrassing! He can embrace the pastime Poindexter, but not identify with him! She can shout: "She's dead to us now! We are no longer she, hooray!" (but under no circumstances "Huzzah" or "Milady" or "Good Sir Knight").
     Together we can get through this. But I must stop writing because it's 5am and I can't keep my tenses straight anymore.


[Hey, you know what's fucked up? I totally made up that green tracksuit as a joke, but OMG look!]
posted by Universal Donor 5:42 AM 0 comments

OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha

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You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)

Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

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Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

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Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

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"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
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"from whence"
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"...the exception that proves the rule"
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any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
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the phrase "drop trou"
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fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
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"expat"
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the euphemism
"passed away"
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pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")

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PET PEEVES

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"confinscated"
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trying children "as adults"
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"drownded"
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misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
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tattoos in the Courier font
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any use of Comic Sans

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