Universal Donor
We can ill afford
another Klendathu

---

feed it up! | UD email

- Archives - 04/01/2002 - 05/01/2002 05/01/2002 - 06/01/2002 06/01/2002 - 07/01/2002 07/01/2002 - 08/01/2002 08/01/2002 - 09/01/2002 09/01/2002 - 10/01/2002 10/01/2002 - 11/01/2002 11/01/2002 - 12/01/2002 12/01/2002 - 01/01/2003 01/01/2003 - 02/01/2003 02/01/2003 - 03/01/2003 03/01/2003 - 04/01/2003 04/01/2003 - 05/01/2003 05/01/2003 - 06/01/2003 06/01/2003 - 07/01/2003 07/01/2003 - 08/01/2003 08/01/2003 - 09/01/2003 09/01/2003 - 10/01/2003 10/01/2003 - 11/01/2003 11/01/2003 - 12/01/2003 12/01/2003 - 01/01/2004 01/01/2004 - 02/01/2004 02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004 03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004 04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004 05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004 06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004 07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004 08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004 09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004 10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004 11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004 12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005 01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005 02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005 03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005 04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005 05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005 06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005 07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005 08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005 09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005 10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005 11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005 12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006 01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006 02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006 03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006 04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006 05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006 06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006 07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006 08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006 09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006 10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006 11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006 12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007 01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007 02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007 03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007 04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007 05/01/2007 - 06/01/2007 06/01/2007 - 07/01/2007 07/01/2007 - 08/01/2007 08/01/2007 - 09/01/2007 09/01/2007 - 10/01/2007 10/01/2007 - 11/01/2007 11/01/2007 - 12/01/2007 12/01/2007 - 01/01/2008 01/01/2008 - 02/01/2008 02/01/2008 - 03/01/2008 03/01/2008 - 04/01/2008 04/01/2008 - 05/01/2008 05/01/2008 - 06/01/2008 06/01/2008 - 07/01/2008 07/01/2008 - 08/01/2008 08/01/2008 - 09/01/2008 09/01/2008 - 10/01/2008 10/01/2008 - 11/01/2008 11/01/2008 - 12/01/2008 12/01/2008 - 01/01/2009 01/01/2009 - 02/01/2009 03/01/2009 - 04/01/2009 07/01/2009 - 08/01/2009 08/01/2009 - 09/01/2009 04/01/2010 - 05/01/2010 09/01/2010 - 10/01/2010

---

You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:

---

PAGES UD MADE:

---

My Books Page

---

My Reviews Page

---

My Reference Page

---

My Music Page

---

My Pictures

---

My Store

---

UD-RELATED PAGES:

---

My LiveJournal

---

My MySpace music page

---

My Flickr page

---

My del.icio.us page

---

My Last.fm page

---

My Amazon Wishlist

---

HEAVY ROTATION

---

Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes

---

BLOGS ETC

---

claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

---

qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

---

dead amusement pks
craters!

---

all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield

---

Hosted by:
HostRocket.Com

Comments by:
YACCS

  SITE STATS



PRAISE & REVIEWS

---

"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

---

egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

---

Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

---

Razor Ection







WHO LINKS TO UD?

---

• from Technorati
• from Google
• from Yahoo



and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

  After all the press about Ambien causing people to sleepwalk, sleepeat, sleepdrive, and do on, I was proud to report that all I'd ever really done under the influence was sleepbabble, sleepcomposesongsaboutgoats, and sleeptalkaboutHarryPotter. Oh, and I have a tendency to turn on the light so I can write down ideas that seem like utter genius at 3am but in the light of day turn out to be really boring (you should be glad (or rather, I'm really glad) that I don't try to sleepblog.) But! I wasn't gaining weight and I wasn't endangering nocturnal animals.
     But last Saturday morning at 6:30am, about three hours after taking my sleeping pill, I got up, went to the kitchen, and made myself a rather involved snack. I had no memory of doing so until I found the recipe I had transcribed during the creation of this unique dish, which I will reprint here verbatim, straight from the index card that bears the unmistakable handwriting of Sleepy-Time Jer. All errors are sic, faithfully and embarrassingly reproduced. The tautologically superfluous first line is not a part of the recipe, but rather an optimistic exhortation to the housemates -- STJ is nothing if not generous:

Eat while there is
still some left—
---------------------------
MORNING NOODLE VEGGIE SCRAM
---------------------------
PREPARE in bowl, brin to boil:
  1 pkg ramen
  2 cup water
COMBINE I BOWL
  2 beaten eggs
  1/4 tomato, chopped
  handfull fresh dill
  arugula whatever
  1 piece whole wheat bread,
    toasted + dice - toasted & diced

     [other side of card]

MEANWHILE FRY EGG
NUMBER 3
---------------------------
AS NOODLE MIXTURE
BOILS ADD WHILE
STIRRING THE
EGG/TOMATO/BREAD,
ONE EGG HAS COOKED
AS SOUP SETTLE,
PLOP 3RD EGG OND.
ADD SALT PEPPER,
CUMIN, DRAGON SAUCE

Sigh. First of all, I urge those of you now reaching for your boiling bowls and dragon sauce to reconsider. Even if you could decipher the shouty part of the instructions -- which you can't -- the result, while technically made of food products, falls well short of the minimal culinary goal of edibility. In terms of presentation, it suffers from a problem master chefs refer to as "looking like vomit."
     Second of all, [insert joke about having to reconsider my claim that I have not endangered nocturnal animals while on Ambien].
     Finally, I'd like to offer an improved version of the recipe:

---------------------------
MORNING NOODLE VEGGIE SCRAM
---------------------------
PREPARE:
  1 pkg ramen
EAT

posted by Universal Donor 2:02 AM 0 comments

OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha

---

You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)

Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store

---

---

MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

---

Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

---

Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

---

"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
-
"from whence"
-
"...the exception that proves the rule"
-
any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
-
the phrase "drop trou"
-
fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
-
"expat"
-
the euphemism
"passed away"
-
pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")

---

PET PEEVES

---

"confinscated"
-
trying children "as adults"
-
"drownded"
-
misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
-
tattoos in the Courier font
-
any use of Comic Sans

---