UNIVERSAL DONOR: MA VIE EN CROUTE
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Universal Donor
We can ill afford another Klendathu You are just a number to me! And that number is: PAGES UD MADE: My Books Page My Reviews Page My Reference Page My Music Page My Pictures My Store UD-RELATED PAGES: My LiveJournal My MySpace music page My Flickr page My del.icio.us page My Last.fm page My Amazon Wishlist HEAVY ROTATION Dan Deacon: Bromst Animal Collective: Merriweather Post Pavillion Bon Iver: For Emma, Forever Ago Vampire Weekend: Vampire Weekend Fleet Foxes: Fleet Foxes BLOGS ETC claude le monde nuncstans rock 'em stock 'em tomato nation postmodern drunkard tuckova 22 ghastly mess constintina total virility fuzzysquid drunken bee stacey nightmare elyse from ANTM stereolabrat dark side points jf_franklin 123 i love you READ NOW brotherhood 2.0 NOT BLOGS ETC qwantz (dinosaur comix) go fug yourself the burg cat and girl book of ratings married to the sea icanhascheezburger fire joe morgan fivethirtyeight.com READ NOW hospitality on parade WEIRD LOVE dead amusement pks craters! all content © 2002-2010 Jeremy Broomfield
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Friday, July 14, 2006
I've been trying to do one of my travelogue emails about my trip to Maine and Massachussets and all but I have to tell you about something first. I saw a pill-dispensing robot at the CVS near my doctor's office and it was FUCKING HOTT. I hate CVS, but there it was, looking capable, which I know is a lie but I was in a hurry to get back to work. So I walked in, asked them if they a) had my drug in stock and b) could fill it sometime this century. Then I totally rolled my eyes. At the end of the roll, my eyes fell on a Willy Wonka-looking machine that once a minute disgorged a pill bottle. I got all giddy. There was a window in the side of the thing with a bunch of drawer-like hoppers. I was like "ooh ooh ooh" at the pharmacy assistant like a kindergartner who needs to pee. She was like "yes?" and I was all "oh my god does that machine fill prescriptions all by itself? Does it have like the top 100 drugs in it?" and she replied "No, it has the 100 most frequently prescribed drugs in it" as if I hadn't just said that, but whatever, and I was like "and so it puts on the label and picks the right bottle size and counts the pills and puts warning stickers on it too?" and she begrudgingly admitted that that was the case, adding finally, with a hint of a grin: "we just got it." And I said a little too loudly "WELL I THINK THAT'S AWESOME." She stared at me a sec. And then told me that in fact she couldn't fill my script this century but I could come back when the next ice age began and I was all "later for that noize bitches" but secretly I didn't care because that pill robot was the motherfucking shiznit.
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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS Chan Marshall Rotem of the IDF Eleanor Friedberger Amy Goodman Bernardine Dohrn ('69) Maya Rudolph Joanna Newsom Imogen Heap Caroline Dhavernas Shana Rae Ray DISALLOWED FOREVER "I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!" - "from whence" - "...the exception that proves the rule" - any use of the question "spit or swallow?" - the phrase "drop trou" - fake-o reviewer verbs: "penned" for wrote "helmed" for directed "lensed" for whatever - "expat" - the euphemism "passed away" - pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!" (see also: "grassy-ass!") PET PEEVES "confinscated" - trying children "as adults" - "drownded" - misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT. - tattoos in the Courier font - any use of Comic Sans |