UNIVERSAL DONOR: MA VIE EN CROUTE
|
||
|
Universal Donor
We can ill afford another Klendathu  feed it up!
| UD email
You are just a number to me! And that number is: PAGES UD MADE: My Books Page My Reviews Page My Reference Page My Music Page My Pictures My Store UD-RELATED PAGES: My LiveJournal My MySpace music page My Flickr page My del.icio.us page My Last.fm page My Amazon Wishlist HEAVY ROTATION Dan Deacon: Bromst Animal Collective: Merriweather Post Pavillion Bon Iver: For Emma, Forever Ago Vampire Weekend: Vampire Weekend Fleet Foxes: Fleet Foxes BLOGS ETC claude le monde nuncstans rock 'em stock 'em tomato nation postmodern drunkard tuckova 22 ghastly mess constintina total virility fuzzysquid drunken bee stacey nightmare elyse from ANTM stereolabrat dark side points jf_franklin 123 i love you READ NOW brotherhood 2.0 NOT BLOGS ETC qwantz (dinosaur comix) go fug yourself the burg cat and girl book of ratings married to the sea icanhascheezburger fire joe morgan fivethirtyeight.com READ NOW hospitality on parade WEIRD LOVE dead amusement pks craters! all content © 2002-2010 Jeremy Broomfield 
Hosted by: HostRocket.Com Comments by: YACCS PRAISE & REVIEWS "[UD] is a genius." --Christian Oates "[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not." --Tricia Howey MOTTO egeo huic vigorum MY WRESTLING NAME Titan Gently MY PUNK NAME Razor Ection 
WHO LINKS TO UD? • from Technorati • from Google • from Yahoo and here's something weird: my place in Humor 3-space |
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Being a superfamous A-list celebrity requires so many traits in combination -- talent, ambition, focus, emotional fortitude, charisma, looks, etc -- that I think it's impossible to make someone into a star who isn't already multiply gifted in a predestined kinda way. The myths of "luck" and "the big break" are somewhere between anecdotal and irrelevant, and serve mostly to contribute to the delusions of people who ain't got it and never will (otherwise known as "waiters"). The looks part is important but standards change over time, so your looks have to resonate with the public at the moment of your potential fame. AND bigtime film stardom requires the biggest stars to look "good" from the most possible angles (do you have a "good side"? some people just don't) and in the largest variety of clothes, and often without clothes (good here just meaning that you fit within specific margins of acceptable weight, proportion, etc etc etc). I'm saying that N*Sync may have been "created," but really the process of making a boy band involves seeking out kids with the Fame Qualities and jamming the five best ones together and crossing your fingers. (Do you remember how popular New Kids on the Block were at their height? Sheeit.) Good songwriting helps, but if your stars ain't got it, your good song can too easily become the One-Hit Wonder's one hit.
N*Sync might have culled the kids with the highest FQ (Fame Quotient) at the time of their selection, but only one of them looks to have staying power. It's not the one whose name is funny if you say it "Fat One" instead of "Fa-Tone." So the FQ is always in flux, maybe, or maybe emotional fortitude only gets revealed over time, or the public's taste for your look abates, or you focus on things other than fame, like, I dunno, family, or life, or whatever. Then your fame is fucked. Which: congratulations! Fame is for chumps! (Reality shows illustrate the doom of a lopsided FQ really clearly. The main requirements for participation in your typical reality show are ambition, extroversion, and volatility. Ambition is one of the key elements of fame, but alone it is NEVER enough. Extroversion is unnecessary and volatility is a liability. Some shows focus on a specific aspect of the quotient, like looks for America's Next Top Model, or talent (I guess) for Project Runway or American Idol, but really. The lopsided FQ will prevent any aspirant from achieveing a-list fame; as an exercise, you can try to name five people who got famous through reality TV who will still be relevant in five years. Meet me by the statue of Garibaldi in Washington Square Park in 2011 and we can see how you did.) Anyway, who cares. I feel like I could go on about this forever, but I'd get super depressed. LINKS YOU'VE PROBABLY SEEN BY NOW BUT FUCK IT: • The Top 10 Will Ferrell SNL skits ever. Neil Diamond and Harry Caray are just unbelievable. Also, it seems that WF relies a lot on shouting for his comedy, and on the phrase "smack you in the mouth." • Check out this artist description from AllMusic of mostly forgotten but Wu-sampled girl grouper Wendy Rene. The second paragraph is the best Easter egg I've ever seen on AllMusic. Read it before they delete it. • Pitchfork's Top 100 Albums of the 1990s is a three year old feature that I'd never seen before. What's my problem? The album images are all missing, but the list is still captivating if you're into music and you came of musical age in the 90s. Don't skip ahead to the end, either, it's really cool if you count down with them in order. I kept on thinking of albums that I thought should be there, and I'd scroll all slowly like "is it... is it... no.... is it..." and every time one I loved was there I jizzed in my jeans. Also, one of my favorites made #11 and I totally didn't think anybody else even liked it. Only one album that I think should have been there was completely forgotten, but I'M SURE IT WAS AN OVERSIGHT. Lists can be reductive and irritating, but they can also be really helpful and satisfying, and my favorite thing about this one is that it makes a hell of a lot more sense to make "Best Album" lists for short chunks of time than for, like, Ever. 0 comments |
OTHER REVIEWS: Scrabble NEW! LATEST BOOK REVIEWS: The Game Moneyball One-Upsmanship Siddhartha You need the Fear Not Guide to Life. Buy it already. ($4) Now available! The Broomfield Variations CD ($10) or go to The UD Store 
MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS Chan Marshall Rotem of the IDF Eleanor Friedberger Amy Goodman Bernardine Dohrn ('69) Maya Rudolph Joanna Newsom Imogen Heap Caroline Dhavernas Shana Rae Ray DISALLOWED FOREVER "I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!" - "from whence" - "...the exception that proves the rule" - any use of the question "spit or swallow?" - the phrase "drop trou" - fake-o reviewer verbs: "penned" for wrote "helmed" for directed "lensed" for whatever - "expat" - the euphemism "passed away" - pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!" (see also: "grassy-ass!") PET PEEVES "confinscated" - trying children "as adults" - "drownded" - misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT. - tattoos in the Courier font - any use of Comic Sans |