UNIVERSAL DONOR: MA VIE EN CROUTE
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Universal Donor
We can ill afford another Klendathu You are just a number to me! And that number is: PAGES UD MADE: My Books Page My Reviews Page My Reference Page My Music Page My Pictures My Store UD-RELATED PAGES: My LiveJournal My MySpace music page My Flickr page My del.icio.us page My Last.fm page My Amazon Wishlist HEAVY ROTATION Dan Deacon: Bromst Animal Collective: Merriweather Post Pavillion Bon Iver: For Emma, Forever Ago Vampire Weekend: Vampire Weekend Fleet Foxes: Fleet Foxes BLOGS ETC claude le monde nuncstans rock 'em stock 'em tomato nation postmodern drunkard tuckova 22 ghastly mess constintina total virility fuzzysquid drunken bee stacey nightmare elyse from ANTM stereolabrat dark side points jf_franklin 123 i love you READ NOW brotherhood 2.0 NOT BLOGS ETC qwantz (dinosaur comix) go fug yourself the burg cat and girl book of ratings married to the sea icanhascheezburger fire joe morgan fivethirtyeight.com READ NOW hospitality on parade WEIRD LOVE dead amusement pks craters! all content © 2002-2010 Jeremy Broomfield
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Monday, August 07, 2006
I saw a story in Metro (one of two free morning newspapers that appeared in NYC sometime in the last couple of years) that reminded me why I hate crappy newspapers. It's not Metro's fault, they were picking up a wire story, and I kind of like the fact that the story is all about a lady complaining about how she has been portrayed in newspapers. Anyway, a story in some paper called her the "Skull Stripper." I was understandably horrified at that sensationalist moniker, but it was all a sham. Turns out she is a stripper who has some skulls in her house. Skulls she got from a mail-order catalog. Not, as I felt the name suggested, a lady who strips the skin from the skulls of her victims, probably while they are still alive and screaming.
Shiiiiit, man. That's like if they arrested a prostitute for having skulls in her house and the papers called her the "Skull Fucker." Tabloid crapsacks. I saw The Descent this weekend, and I thought a lot about critics and reviews. I thought about horror as a genre. Then I thought that it would be funny if there were a small independent movie out at the same time called The Docent. I pictured staffers at a multiplex theater deliberately misdirecting customers to The Docent, pretending they read their tickets wrong. Meatheads going "who is this fucking old lady and why is she walking around the MoMA? Where are the hot chicks and CHUDs and shit? Fuck!" Then I laughed myself to sleep. 0 comments |
OTHER REVIEWS: Scrabble NEW! LATEST BOOK REVIEWS: The Game Moneyball One-Upsmanship Siddhartha You need the Fear Not Guide to Life. Buy it already. ($4) Now available! The Broomfield Variations CD ($10) or go to The UD Store
MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS Chan Marshall Rotem of the IDF Eleanor Friedberger Amy Goodman Bernardine Dohrn ('69) Maya Rudolph Joanna Newsom Imogen Heap Caroline Dhavernas Shana Rae Ray DISALLOWED FOREVER "I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!" - "from whence" - "...the exception that proves the rule" - any use of the question "spit or swallow?" - the phrase "drop trou" - fake-o reviewer verbs: "penned" for wrote "helmed" for directed "lensed" for whatever - "expat" - the euphemism "passed away" - pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!" (see also: "grassy-ass!") PET PEEVES "confinscated" - trying children "as adults" - "drownded" - misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT. - tattoos in the Courier font - any use of Comic Sans |