Universal Donor
We can ill afford
another Klendathu

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feed it up! | UD email

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You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:

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PAGES UD MADE:

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My Books Page

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My Reviews Page

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My Reference Page

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My Music Page

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My Pictures

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My Store

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

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My LiveJournal

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My MySpace music page

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My Flickr page

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My del.icio.us page

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My Last.fm page

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My Amazon Wishlist

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HEAVY ROTATION

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Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes

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BLOGS ETC

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claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

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qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

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dead amusement pks
craters!

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all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield

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PRAISE & REVIEWS

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"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

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Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

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Razor Ection







WHO LINKS TO UD?

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• from Technorati
• from Google
• from Yahoo



and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

  Oh man. Why do people keep making good TV when I was absolutely convinced that TV was, like, over? Deadwood, Battlestar Galactica, and Thief have all been universally praised, and I guess I like Rescue Me, too. The first two episodes of Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip were great in a deliciously familiar way: imagine that god used a giant whack-a-mole mallet to flatten The West Wing, but its essential elements just blorped up in L.A. instead of D.C.
     But I'm really into The Minor Accomplishments of Jackie Woodman on IFC. Hoo boy. I love shows that make fun of Los Angeles, and I like Laura Kightlinger, but I am mesmerized by Nicholle Tom. I never saw The Nanny, so it's not like I've been harboring some weird crush since adolescence. But apparently the creator of the Unofficial Nicholle Tom Homepage has. Man, the Netherlands is a weird place. That poor man is SO ANGRY about the non-support of other fake-ass SO-CALLED Nicholle Tom fans. Please read his front page tirade, it's such a perfect encapsulation of fanboyism -- like you really needed one. I envy his passion, if not his rampant, galloping pedophilia.

Say, when did they remove pseudoephedrine from every single product in the world? I'm not trying to manufacture any crank over here, I've just got a head full of hot yellow snot. I feel like a flan machine. So why does this DayQuil have a dubious decongestant called phenylephrine in it? I don't have time to investigate this substance, so if any of you want to Wik it up for me, I guess I'd be interested.
     I hate how DayQuil looks like it's gonna last forever, but each dayglo dose is like half a horseload of viscous alien blood, so the bottle empties faster than a horny horse's seminal vesicles (as for instance in Jackass: Number Two, which by the way I haven't laughed so hard in a movie theater since I saw the first Jackass movie.)

In UD vacation-related news: Either my old watch had greatly exaggerated its resistance to water, or I don't know how to read simple pictograms. Apparently the image of blue waves on my watchface, combined with "30m" meant "do not bring this watch within 30 meters of water." Whatever, Timex. I guess I'll give you one more chance, because I can't resist a company whose slogan once had the word "Licking" in it. And because I am cheap.
     I already started my watch-buying errand today before I remembered that I had another watch at home, but I wore that one during the hottest parts of the summer, so it got barnacularly encrusted with sweat-salt, and its band made my wrist smell like baloney. Anyway so I decided to set a budget for my purchase in light of the fact that it was essentially unnecessary: $20 tops. Well. If you think you can't get a kickass watch on your lunch hour in midtown for less than twenty bucks, I'm pleased to disabuse you of such defeatist fucktardation. For only $10.80 I got the toughest watch evah. You think your crazy G-shock commando chronometer is tough? I got bad news for you vis-a-vis the toughness of your stupid watch: my new watch has a fucking fighter jet for a second hand. My watch bombs your watch.
posted by Universal Donor 4:08 PM 0 comments

OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha

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You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)

Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

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Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

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Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

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"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
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"from whence"
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"...the exception that proves the rule"
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any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
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the phrase "drop trou"
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fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
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"expat"
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the euphemism
"passed away"
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pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")

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PET PEEVES

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"confinscated"
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trying children "as adults"
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"drownded"
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misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
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tattoos in the Courier font
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any use of Comic Sans

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