UNIVERSAL DONOR: MA VIE EN CROUTE
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Universal Donor
We can ill afford another Klendathu You are just a number to me! And that number is: PAGES UD MADE: My Books Page My Reviews Page My Reference Page My Music Page My Pictures My Store UD-RELATED PAGES: My LiveJournal My MySpace music page My Flickr page My del.icio.us page My Last.fm page My Amazon Wishlist HEAVY ROTATION Dan Deacon: Bromst Animal Collective: Merriweather Post Pavillion Bon Iver: For Emma, Forever Ago Vampire Weekend: Vampire Weekend Fleet Foxes: Fleet Foxes BLOGS ETC claude le monde nuncstans rock 'em stock 'em tomato nation postmodern drunkard tuckova 22 ghastly mess constintina total virility fuzzysquid drunken bee stacey nightmare elyse from ANTM stereolabrat dark side points jf_franklin 123 i love you READ NOW brotherhood 2.0 NOT BLOGS ETC qwantz (dinosaur comix) go fug yourself the burg cat and girl book of ratings married to the sea icanhascheezburger fire joe morgan fivethirtyeight.com READ NOW hospitality on parade WEIRD LOVE dead amusement pks craters! all content © 2002-2010 Jeremy Broomfield
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Tuesday, September 12, 2006
There are several kinds of liquids that I would normally bring on a plane without even thinking about it that now I have to actually ponder whether it's worth the attempted totage if they're just going to get confiscated by overzealous, overliteral, underpaid, and (in my experience, almost always) overweight airline security forces. I'm not going shed any tears over a bottle of Mountain Dew: Code Red* if it gets routed to the thirsty workers' loot dumpster. But what about my expensive creams, lotions, and salves? Are balms liquid? Carmex, for example. It can seem pretty solid in the right temperatures, but it can also get a little runny if you like to rock with a cynlinder in your pants pocket. At what temperature are they judging the state of various substances? And have they published restrictions for gases? I like to travel with mylar bladdersful of my favorite gases. Okay maybe I don't, but DO YOU DARE ME TO?
I do travel with a number of things that contain liquid. I typically carry, in my toiletry kit, face lotion, eyedrops, india ink, rubbing alcohol, shaving cream (foam? liquid?), Robitussin, an Albuterol inhaler, tincture of Opium, Bonny Johnny brand aftershave, glycerin, hand sanitizer, aerosol Ubik, Soylent Blue, Soma, Soap, and the blood of Christian babies. Oh, and silver polish. Is lipstick solid? What about my gel insoles? Or my moods, which are mutable as the tides? * Rejected alternate names for Mountain Dew: Code Red Mountain Dew: Code Crimson Mountain Dew: Code Chill-ain Mountain Dew: Co-Children Mountain Dew: Code Ruby Starfruit Mountain Dew: Kode Krimzon Ekztreem Mountain Dew: Kode Kremlin Mountain Dew: KKKode Killun Mountain Dew: Code Redneck Blood 0 comments |
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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS Chan Marshall Rotem of the IDF Eleanor Friedberger Amy Goodman Bernardine Dohrn ('69) Maya Rudolph Joanna Newsom Imogen Heap Caroline Dhavernas Shana Rae Ray DISALLOWED FOREVER "I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!" - "from whence" - "...the exception that proves the rule" - any use of the question "spit or swallow?" - the phrase "drop trou" - fake-o reviewer verbs: "penned" for wrote "helmed" for directed "lensed" for whatever - "expat" - the euphemism "passed away" - pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!" (see also: "grassy-ass!") PET PEEVES "confinscated" - trying children "as adults" - "drownded" - misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT. - tattoos in the Courier font - any use of Comic Sans |