Universal Donor
We can ill afford
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You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:

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PAGES UD MADE:

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My Books Page

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My Reviews Page

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My Reference Page

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My Music Page

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My Pictures

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My Store

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

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My LiveJournal

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My MySpace music page

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My Flickr page

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My del.icio.us page

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My Last.fm page

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My Amazon Wishlist

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HEAVY ROTATION

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Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes

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BLOGS ETC

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claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

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qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

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dead amusement pks
craters!

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all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield

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PRAISE & REVIEWS

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"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

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Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

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Razor Ection







WHO LINKS TO UD?

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• from Technorati
• from Google
• from Yahoo



and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

  I COULD WRITE LISTS ALL DAY EVERY DAY SO DON'T TEMPT ME

What Girls are Wearing at the Wal-Mart in Hackettstown, NJ
• makeup
• hoodies
• pajama bottoms

Things I Hate About Wal-Mart
• exploitation
• convenience
• the people in the Wal-Mart, including:
     • employees
     • customers
     • people who think it's okay to wear pajamas in public
     • old people
• low prices

What Old People are Doing at the Wal-Mart in Hackettstown, NJ
• smiling
• dying

Things I Don't Want to Eat
• Bic Macs
• Nutty Ho-Hos
• the flesh of the living (see below for exceptions)
• hobo cocks

Things I Do Want to Eat, but Shouldn't
• Girl Scout Cookies
• Palace Fried Chicken (Greenpoint, Brooklyn)
• that Ben & Jerry's with the oatmeal cookies in it
• the fingers and toes of infants

My Resolutions for 2007 (the A-list)
• To be as honest as possible at all times
• Not to stuff my stupid face with food when I'm bored
• Not to blog passive-aggressively at my friends
• To drink more water

Things I Think Other People Should Resolve to Do
• Stop talking about the genitals of celebrities
• Stop wearing terrycloth in public
• Calm the fuck down
• Shut the fuck up
• Eat a bowl of dick

Rejected Potential Resolutions that Didn't Make the Cut
• To charge my phone more
• To be less judgmental of those who are cavalier about recycling
• To use the word "immanent" in conversation
• To punch/kick first, ask questions later

What to Type in an IM to Suggest that You are Vomiting
• BARRRUF
• oog
• HA-WHALLLLLLFFF
• cough cough HURK
• HURKLE
• hurmp---
• FLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRPPP!!!

Lists that Didn't Make the Cut for this Post
• My Coolest Relatives
• Ugly Things I Saw You Wearing but Said I Liked at the Time
• Super Stars of the 60s Who I Bet Probably Slept with Grace Slick
• Things Your Face Looks Like (That Aren't Faces)
• Favorite Windows Keyboard Shortcuts
• Things in Your Room that I Put My
• um, never mind
posted by Universal Donor 4:41 PM 0 comments

OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha

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You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)

Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

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Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

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Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

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"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
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"from whence"
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"...the exception that proves the rule"
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any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
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the phrase "drop trou"
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fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
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"expat"
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the euphemism
"passed away"
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pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")

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PET PEEVES

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"confinscated"
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trying children "as adults"
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"drownded"
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misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
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tattoos in the Courier font
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any use of Comic Sans

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