Universal Donor
We can ill afford
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You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:

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PAGES UD MADE:

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My Books Page

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My Reviews Page

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My Reference Page

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My Music Page

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My Pictures

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My Store

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

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My LiveJournal

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My MySpace music page

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My Flickr page

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My del.icio.us page

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My Last.fm page

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My Amazon Wishlist

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HEAVY ROTATION

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Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes

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BLOGS ETC

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claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

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qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

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dead amusement pks
craters!

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all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield

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PRAISE & REVIEWS

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"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

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Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

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Razor Ection







WHO LINKS TO UD?

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• from Technorati
• from Google
• from Yahoo



and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

  Dear Man talking on Cell Phone in Bathroom Stall,
     You are in a stall in the men's room, talking on your cell phone. While apparently pooping. What gives?
       — UD in the Men's Room

Dear Men's Room UD,
     Don't be afraid -- I'm not dangerously clueless. I just got an important, career-defining call that filled me with pants-shitting fear, so I took my bizniz to the crapper for extraspecial precaution. Sometimes I call people who intimidate me from in here because I imagine I am defecating on their power over me. What's that Mr Big? SPLOOSH is what! Ya heard? BOO-YAA!
       — Mr. Busypoops

Dear Cute Girl with Platter of Half-Sandwiches on the Street,
     Thank you for that half egg-salad wrap.
       — UD on the Street

Dear Street UD,
     No problem! Thank YOU for taking it off my hands! I was wondering: "what am I going to do with these sandwiches?!" because I just came from this meeting? And there were like all these sandwiches which were totally gonna be thrown out, and I was like "THAT'S wasteful!" so I asked them if I could take them, and my coworkers were like rolling their eyes like "there she goes again miss recycle" ha ha because I'm always yelling at people like "you! gotta! recycle!" ha ha and so they were like "don't you want to wrap them up?" and I was like "no I'll just take that platter, it's disposable anyway," like what a waste, but anyway they were like "are you gonna eat them? ha ha" and I was like no but maybe some homeless person will, and they were like "homeless people don't want your garbage sandwiches they want money for booze and drugs" and I was like "well I'll take them anyway you poverty bigots" and now here YOU are, not homeless -- unless... you're not homeless, right? Ha ha so anyway I KNEW someone would —

Dear God,
     Would you PLEASE make this girl shut up?
       — UD with his Mouth Full

Dear Ungrateful Dumbshit,
     No YOU shut up.
       — God
posted by Universal Donor 2:24 PM 0 comments

OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha

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You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)

Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

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Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

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Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

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"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
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"from whence"
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"...the exception that proves the rule"
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any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
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the phrase "drop trou"
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fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
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"expat"
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the euphemism
"passed away"
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pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")

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PET PEEVES

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"confinscated"
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trying children "as adults"
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"drownded"
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misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
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tattoos in the Courier font
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any use of Comic Sans

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