UNIVERSAL DONOR: MA VIE EN CROUTE
|
||
|
Universal Donor
We can ill afford another Klendathu  feed it up!
| UD email
You are just a number to me! And that number is: PAGES UD MADE: My Books Page My Reviews Page My Reference Page My Music Page My Pictures My Store UD-RELATED PAGES: My LiveJournal My MySpace music page My Flickr page My del.icio.us page My Last.fm page My Amazon Wishlist HEAVY ROTATION Dan Deacon: Bromst Animal Collective: Merriweather Post Pavillion Bon Iver: For Emma, Forever Ago Vampire Weekend: Vampire Weekend Fleet Foxes: Fleet Foxes BLOGS ETC claude le monde nuncstans rock 'em stock 'em tomato nation postmodern drunkard tuckova 22 ghastly mess constintina total virility fuzzysquid drunken bee stacey nightmare elyse from ANTM stereolabrat dark side points jf_franklin 123 i love you READ NOW brotherhood 2.0 NOT BLOGS ETC qwantz (dinosaur comix) go fug yourself the burg cat and girl book of ratings married to the sea icanhascheezburger fire joe morgan fivethirtyeight.com READ NOW hospitality on parade WEIRD LOVE dead amusement pks craters! all content © 2002-2010 Jeremy Broomfield 
Hosted by: HostRocket.Com Comments by: YACCS PRAISE & REVIEWS "[UD] is a genius." --Christian Oates "[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not." --Tricia Howey MOTTO egeo huic vigorum MY WRESTLING NAME Titan Gently MY PUNK NAME Razor Ection 
WHO LINKS TO UD? • from Technorati • from Google • from Yahoo and here's something weird: my place in Humor 3-space |
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Okay, I know I don't usually delve into serious social topics without injecting laffs, but I wrote the following as a response to a blog post that I read which, like so many discussions of pornography, I felt missed the point. Read that blog post here, and check the comments, then read my response below after you clean the barf off your shirtfront.
(NB: all the theories below are the result of extensive anthropological research; I, personally, do not have any sexual urges whatever. I live suspended in a giant harness made of neoprene, fed an intravenous mixture of nutrients and morphine.) ------------------------------------------------------------- 1. Girls are just as horny as guys. The biological imperative is the same for both genders: MAKE MORE COPIES OF YOURSELF. That imperative is expressed differently due to the nature of sexual reproduction:MALE: impregnate as many females as possible. FEMALE: get pregnant NOW. (Homosexuality inconveniently complicates this reductive formula, so I will just ignore it for the time being, though I invite comments that address the gay side of this issue.) As I think both sexes can attest, these urges are almost always there to some degree. BUT -- YAY! We have learned to transcend our basest urges in daily life. Men can control their desire to fuck (or even ogle) every pretty girl who passes, just as women can control their desire to get impregnated. 2. "Porn teaches men to feel ____ about women" arguments sound to me like "violent video games cause violence" (i.e. emotionally satisfying but intellectually lazy) HERE'S WHAT SOME WOMEN DON'T SEEM TO UNDERSTAND ABOUT PORN AND YET MEN NEVER SEEM TO BE ABLE TO ARTICULATE: What a man likes in porn does not necessarily have any relation to what he likes in real life. Pornography is not ENJOYED by most men, but merely USED to achieve orgasm.* Ask guys if they keep watching or reading porn after they come -- only the rare connoisseur will say he does anything besides turn away in vague disgust. Therefore, porn is often chosen for gaudy visual stimulation, taboo violation, extremity, or whatever. Guys over thirty who look at, for example, "teen" porn rarely want to fuck actual teenagers, and almost never want to be in a relationship with one. (That is gross. Have you seen teenagers? They're so young.) Since, one hopes, a man considers his sexual partners to be more than just ejaculation facilitators, one can see that what is valued in a partner is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT from what is valued in porn. In my experience, women feel threatened by pornography when they incorrectly think that: a) men desire in a real-life partner the physical characteristics they prefer in porn, b) men desire in a real-life partner the behaviors exhibited in porn, c) men want to treat a real-life partner with the disrespect that is a hallmark of a lot of porn. What can I say? THESE THINGS ARE USUALLY NOT TRUE. If you really think your boyfriend/lover/spouse would rather date a porn star, or fuck a teenager, or abuse you, or poop on your chest, or WHATEVER, maybe it's time to MOVE ON. But if your relationship seems solid in every respect, maybe try to remember what you've read here and don't fret so much about the porn. --------------------------------------------- * This is important because guys who are horny become almost completely useless, and tend to make TERRIBLE decisions. This is true for women too, but men build up to uselessness in approximately three days after the last ejaculation, whereas woman vary greatly in their level of uselessness and the time it takes to get there. 0 comments |
OTHER REVIEWS: Scrabble NEW! LATEST BOOK REVIEWS: The Game Moneyball One-Upsmanship Siddhartha You need the Fear Not Guide to Life. Buy it already. ($4) Now available! The Broomfield Variations CD ($10) or go to The UD Store 
MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS Chan Marshall Rotem of the IDF Eleanor Friedberger Amy Goodman Bernardine Dohrn ('69) Maya Rudolph Joanna Newsom Imogen Heap Caroline Dhavernas Shana Rae Ray DISALLOWED FOREVER "I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!" - "from whence" - "...the exception that proves the rule" - any use of the question "spit or swallow?" - the phrase "drop trou" - fake-o reviewer verbs: "penned" for wrote "helmed" for directed "lensed" for whatever - "expat" - the euphemism "passed away" - pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!" (see also: "grassy-ass!") PET PEEVES "confinscated" - trying children "as adults" - "drownded" - misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT. - tattoos in the Courier font - any use of Comic Sans |