Universal Donor
We can ill afford
another Klendathu

---

feed it up! | UD email

- Archives - 04/01/2002 - 05/01/2002 05/01/2002 - 06/01/2002 06/01/2002 - 07/01/2002 07/01/2002 - 08/01/2002 08/01/2002 - 09/01/2002 09/01/2002 - 10/01/2002 10/01/2002 - 11/01/2002 11/01/2002 - 12/01/2002 12/01/2002 - 01/01/2003 01/01/2003 - 02/01/2003 02/01/2003 - 03/01/2003 03/01/2003 - 04/01/2003 04/01/2003 - 05/01/2003 05/01/2003 - 06/01/2003 06/01/2003 - 07/01/2003 07/01/2003 - 08/01/2003 08/01/2003 - 09/01/2003 09/01/2003 - 10/01/2003 10/01/2003 - 11/01/2003 11/01/2003 - 12/01/2003 12/01/2003 - 01/01/2004 01/01/2004 - 02/01/2004 02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004 03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004 04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004 05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004 06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004 07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004 08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004 09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004 10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004 11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004 12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005 01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005 02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005 03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005 04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005 05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005 06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005 07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005 08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005 09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005 10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005 11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005 12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006 01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006 02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006 03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006 04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006 05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006 06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006 07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006 08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006 09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006 10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006 11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006 12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007 01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007 02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007 03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007 04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007 05/01/2007 - 06/01/2007 06/01/2007 - 07/01/2007 07/01/2007 - 08/01/2007 08/01/2007 - 09/01/2007 09/01/2007 - 10/01/2007 10/01/2007 - 11/01/2007 11/01/2007 - 12/01/2007 12/01/2007 - 01/01/2008 01/01/2008 - 02/01/2008 02/01/2008 - 03/01/2008 03/01/2008 - 04/01/2008 04/01/2008 - 05/01/2008 05/01/2008 - 06/01/2008 06/01/2008 - 07/01/2008 07/01/2008 - 08/01/2008 08/01/2008 - 09/01/2008 09/01/2008 - 10/01/2008 10/01/2008 - 11/01/2008 11/01/2008 - 12/01/2008 12/01/2008 - 01/01/2009 01/01/2009 - 02/01/2009 03/01/2009 - 04/01/2009 07/01/2009 - 08/01/2009 08/01/2009 - 09/01/2009 04/01/2010 - 05/01/2010 09/01/2010 - 10/01/2010

---

You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:

---

PAGES UD MADE:

---

My Books Page

---

My Reviews Page

---

My Reference Page

---

My Music Page

---

My Pictures

---

My Store

---

UD-RELATED PAGES:

---

My LiveJournal

---

My MySpace music page

---

My Flickr page

---

My del.icio.us page

---

My Last.fm page

---

My Amazon Wishlist

---

HEAVY ROTATION

---

Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes

---

BLOGS ETC

---

claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

---

qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

---

dead amusement pks
craters!

---

all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield

---

Hosted by:
HostRocket.Com

Comments by:
YACCS

  SITE STATS



PRAISE & REVIEWS

---

"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

---

egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

---

Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

---

Razor Ection







WHO LINKS TO UD?

---

• from Technorati
• from Google
• from Yahoo



and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

  The Times had an article about a study that explored the reasons people had sex. The study did a survey that came up with 237 distinct reasons (examples: It just happened. I was bored. Someone dared me. The person was famous and I wanted to be able to say I had sex with him/her.) WHATEVER.
     The scientists who did the study are now doing a study about the reasons people choose to NOT have sex. You can participate here, like I did. Here are a few of my answers to their question:

REASONS I DID NOT HAVE SEX
Please list all the reasons you can think of for why you, or someone you have known, have chosen NOT to engage in sexual intercourse in the past.

1. I was tired.
2. I wanted to withhold sex in retaliation for a perceived slight.
3. I did not have any condoms.
4. I did not want to deal with the emotional consequences of sex.
5. The other person was drunk.
6. The other person was on drugs.
7. I was on drugs.
8. I was afraid I smelled bad.
9. I knew I would never see the person again.
10. They did this thing with their mouth that really creeped me out.
11. I didn't want to get a reputation.
12. I had just had sex with somebody else.
13. I didn't feel like cleaning up the mess created by her copious female ejaculate again.
14. There were other people in the room.
15. The other person had just had sex with somebody else.
16. The other person appeared too needy.
17. The other person was too young.
18. The other person was too gossipy.
19. The other person was too married.
20. The other person was emotionally unstable.
21. The other person had vomit in their hair.
22. I felt that the other person only wanted to have sex with me to hurt someone else.
23. Too much mud.
24. Not enough mud.
25. I did not like the other person.
26. I was no longer in love with the other person.
27. I was planning on breaking up with the person.
28. I fell asleep.
29. The other person fell asleep.
30. My parents were nearby.
31. The other person's parents were nearby.
32. I was irritated by the other person’s sense of entitlement.
33. There were too many people coming in and out of the restroom.
34. We did not want to make a mess in the car.
35. There was no suitable place to have sex.
36. The alley was not as private as we had thought.
37. We got arrested before we could have sex.
38. There was not enough time.
39. It was too hot.
40. It was too cold.
41. I had a fever.
42. My back hurt too much.
43. The other person smelled like they had bathed in patchouli.
44. I had had sex too many times that day.
45. I never wanted to see the person again.
46. The other person looked like a Muppet.
47. I found the other person's political views abhorrent.
48. I was worried it would change the nature of our friendship.
49. I wanted to preserve sexual tension indefinitely.
50. I got a phone call from my future self warning me not to.
51. I chose to sleep with a different person that night.
52. A friend of mine had a crush on the person.
53. I wanted to be the only guy who had never tried to have sex with with the other person.
54. I value platonic friendship.
55. I don't have sex with hippies.
56. Just knowing the other person would have sex with me is good enough.
57. There was a wedding taking place in the church at the time.
58. Pants too complicated to remove.
59. The drugs ran out and we needed to get more.
60. The drugs wore off and sex no longer seemed like such a good idea.
61. I was running late for a movie.

posted by Universal Donor 3:10 PM 0 comments

OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha

---

You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)

Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store

---

---

MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

---

Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

---

Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

---

"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
-
"from whence"
-
"...the exception that proves the rule"
-
any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
-
the phrase "drop trou"
-
fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
-
"expat"
-
the euphemism
"passed away"
-
pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")

---

PET PEEVES

---

"confinscated"
-
trying children "as adults"
-
"drownded"
-
misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
-
tattoos in the Courier font
-
any use of Comic Sans

---