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You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:

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PAGES UD MADE:

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My Books Page

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My Reviews Page

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My Reference Page

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My Music Page

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My Pictures

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My Store

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

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My LiveJournal

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My MySpace music page

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My Flickr page

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My del.icio.us page

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My Last.fm page

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My Amazon Wishlist

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HEAVY ROTATION

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Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes

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BLOGS ETC

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claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

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qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

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dead amusement pks
craters!

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all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield

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PRAISE & REVIEWS

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"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

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Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

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Razor Ection







WHO LINKS TO UD?

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• from Technorati
• from Google
• from Yahoo



and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

  BUZZKILLARY CLINTON
So I think Hillary '68 looks cute in the pic at the top of this this Times article. Yes, a little serious, perhaps self-important, but I remember feeling the same way in college over a minor censorship incident -- whereas Hill was looking serious in 1968, when shit actually was serious, f'reals.
     I know it's shitty to say of a female presidential candidate "aww, look, how cute," and I definitely wouldn't say it about Fred Thompson, though not because he's a man -- he seriously looked like a 70s-style serial killer in the 70s and now he just looks... like this. With Hillary, I'm not being patriarchically indulgent of her whimsical (and probably menses-induced) executive aspirations; I'm just grasping for signs of a real person under that frosty-coiffed and pantsuited exterior.
     So, searching for signs of humanity, I see this old picture of '68 Hillary and I say she looks cute, but you know what? It really only works when I imagine '68 Hillary doing things that a presidential candidate would never admit to or talk about. Then she seems cute. I will spare you the details here. (For details, send $2 via PayPal; ask for "Late Nite in the Law Library with The Student Body Prez")
     The article says she never used drugs. How did someone AVOID using drugs on campus in 1968? She must have been a serious buzzkill.* Even forty years into the future, I feel judged by her past self. Screw you, Hill! LIGHTEN UP.

THEY'RE ALL GETTING MARRIED
Congrats to my pal Lindsey -- you know you're cool when the news of your wedding is broken by Perez Hilton. Well, either you're cool, or you're in serious trouble.

AND I'M GETTING OLD
I just noticed that I am hairier than I was the last time I noticed how hairy I was. Do girls really like hairy wrists? I'm like Teen Wolf over here. Bristly. What's happening to me?
     My theory: I'm getting older. My teeth have turned into magnets for food particles, I guess, and they are decaying faster than the dentist can bash them out of my jaw. My spleen is in a glass by my bed, my walker needs oiling, and my croup is acting up.
     OMG, JK, SRSLY. I am at the height of my powers. I'm awesome. Your very existence is a fart in the hurricane of my destiny. I destroy galaxies with a thought.

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* You know, like that cryptofundamentalist Residence Coordinator down the hall
(CFRC: Hey, gang, what are you up to tonight? Any wild parties going down?
ALL: Fuck off, narc!),
or that girl with who refused to huff even one freaking Whip-It because she had "epilepsy."
posted by Universal Donor 10:36 AM 0 comments

OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha

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You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)

Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

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Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

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Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

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"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
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"from whence"
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"...the exception that proves the rule"
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any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
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the phrase "drop trou"
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fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
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"expat"
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the euphemism
"passed away"
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pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")

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PET PEEVES

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"confinscated"
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trying children "as adults"
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"drownded"
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misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
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tattoos in the Courier font
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any use of Comic Sans

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