Universal Donor
We can ill afford
another Klendathu

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You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:

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PAGES UD MADE:

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My Books Page

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My Reviews Page

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My Reference Page

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My Music Page

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My Pictures

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My Store

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

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My LiveJournal

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My MySpace music page

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My Flickr page

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My del.icio.us page

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My Last.fm page

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My Amazon Wishlist

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HEAVY ROTATION

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Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes

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BLOGS ETC

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claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

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qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

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dead amusement pks
craters!

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all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield

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PRAISE & REVIEWS

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"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

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Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

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Razor Ection







WHO LINKS TO UD?

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• from Technorati
• from Google
• from Yahoo



and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

  BED THEORY
Still working on this, but the idea is:

• It takes n days to get used to a bed, for your body to experience it as your "Home Bed."
  
• Once a bed reaches Home Bed status, sleep quality for that bed is optimized.
  
• Every bed/person combination has its own optimal sleep quality rating.
  
• The quality of sleep you initially get on any "Away Bed" is 20-50% lower than Home Bed sleep.
  
• This is true regardless of the softness, plushness, fanciness, etc., of the Away Bed.
  
• So obviously 10 hours on an Away Bed may not feel as restful as 6 on your Home Bed.
  
• The presence of another person in your Home Bed is tantamount to sleeping in an Away Bed, and it may take n days to regain optimal Sleep Quality.
  

HALLOWEEN COSTUME IDEAS
I dressed as a bee for three of the last six Halloweens. One year I was the Unabomber, and one or two I skipped completely. I am not the biggest fan of Halloween, mostly because I'm scared of what I am capable of when I'm wearing a mask. One time I went to a party as Pol Pot and I liquidated all of the intellectuals present. It was messy.

Christopher Columbus - For this costume I would dress as Christopher in the normal way, adding deaths-head facepaint and skellington gloves. Also, I will have washcloths with biohazard symbols on them to represent smallpox blankets, which I will hand out to anyone dressed as a Native American.

Ninja - I won't go to any parties. Then, when people say "why didn't you come to my kickass Halloween party?" I'll say "Oh I was there," and they'll say "but I didn't see you" and I'll say "that's because I was dressed as a ninja. I'm glad my costume worked." If they express doubt I will put a fucking throwing star in their neck.

Slutty Ninja - Same as above, only slutty.

Myself - I will dress in white from head to toe, with a Polaroid camera and extra packs of film, and perhaps a fanny pack. My white t-shirt will have written on it, in Sharpie: "LATER ON I'M GOING TO ASK IF I CAN TAKE A PICTURE OF YOUR BOOBS."

Earlicker - I will wear a shirt that says "Earlicker" on it. If anyone asks me what my costume is, I will say "It's a secret. I have to whisper it. Please, come closer...."



posted by Universal Donor 12:48 PM 0 comments

OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha

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You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)

Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

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Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

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Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

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"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
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"from whence"
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"...the exception that proves the rule"
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any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
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the phrase "drop trou"
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fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
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"expat"
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the euphemism
"passed away"
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pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")

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PET PEEVES

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"confinscated"
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trying children "as adults"
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"drownded"
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misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
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tattoos in the Courier font
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any use of Comic Sans

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