Universal Donor
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You are just a number
to me! And that number
is:

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PAGES UD MADE:

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My Books Page

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My Reviews Page

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My Reference Page

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My Music Page

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My Pictures

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UD-RELATED PAGES:

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My LiveJournal

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My MySpace music page

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My Flickr page

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My del.icio.us page

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My Last.fm page

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My Amazon Wishlist

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HEAVY ROTATION

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Dan Deacon:
Bromst
Animal Collective:
Merriweather Post Pavillion
Bon Iver:
For Emma, Forever Ago
Vampire Weekend:
Vampire Weekend
Fleet Foxes:
Fleet Foxes

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BLOGS ETC

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claude le monde
nuncstans
rock 'em stock 'em
tomato nation
postmodern drunkard
tuckova 22
ghastly mess
constintina
total virility
fuzzysquid
drunken bee
stacey nightmare
elyse from ANTM
stereolabrat
dark side points
jf_franklin
123 i love you READ NOW
brotherhood 2.0

NOT BLOGS ETC

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qwantz (dinosaur comix)
go fug yourself
the burg
cat and girl
book of ratings
married to the sea
icanhascheezburger
fire joe morgan
fivethirtyeight.com
READ NOW
hospitality on parade

WEIRD LOVE

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dead amusement pks
craters!

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all content
© 2002-2010
Jeremy Broomfield

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PRAISE & REVIEWS

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"[UD] is a genius."
--Christian Oates

"[Claudia] is fucking awesome, and [UD] is a genius. And vice versa. You should all buy Fear Not."
--Tricia Howey



MOTTO

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egeo huic vigorum

MY WRESTLING NAME

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Titan Gently

MY PUNK NAME

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Razor Ection







WHO LINKS TO UD?

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• from Technorati
• from Google
• from Yahoo



and here's something
weird: my place
in Humor 3-space

  I'M MAKING A DOCUMENTARY
I'm making a documentary about informal food-sharing practices in social groups. Are you gonna eat those fries?

DREAM #1
I had some crazy stupid dreams in St. Thomas. The first was a dream that death was not, as we tend to think of it, a condition universally characterized by the same objective measurements of body function. I recently read about how emotions are largely constructed culturally, and cannot just be understood as collections of physical responses; for example, various cultures have words for, and experience, emotions that simply have no correlates in our culture. Weird!
     So in my dream it turns out that death, like so many things, must be considered in its cultural context -- that different cultures have different conditions to pronounce someone dead, and that ours is not, as we might like to think, the pinnacle of reason and truth, but simply one way of looking at it. The upshot being that Maori or Mongolian (or whatever) EMTs would have very different vital-sign checklists from ours, involving... who knows what? Could we even understand their death tests?

DREAM #2
I became convinced in my second dream that it is a perfectly normal, natural, and healthy expression of friendship to watch your friends have sex with each other. People are so weird and repressed, it seemed to me! Why don't they ask to watch their friends fuck more often? It wouldn't be awkward. It's so natural and beautiful! You love your friends, right? Why wouldn't you want to see them love each other? So if you asked a couple you knew if you could watch, it's not like you're trying to fuck them (now that could get weird!), you just want to watch. How could it do anything but strengthen your friendship? It couldn't.

NOTES ON SHARING DREAM STORIES IN REAL LIFE
Sometimes, if you tell someone about a dream you had, you will realize that one of two things has happened. You have either:
1. bored your listener with a rambling narrative involving people they don't know; or
2. confused your listener with something vague and un-picturable.
...Or maybe a combination of the two. So here a few ringers to rescue your boring or confusing story by horrifying your listener with something "unintentionally" revealing. Once you realize you have lost your listener's attention, tack one of the following onto the end of your narrative:
MEN: "And then I slaughtered the evil she-monster with my sword made of penises."
WOMEN: "And then I ate 30 hot dogs and had a cup of cock soda."

REDUX
Re: dream #2 above, it occurs to me that that in any group of friends, there is a couple you would be most likely to approach with a voyeuristic overture. Think of who it is in your group of friends. Imagine yourself asking if you could watch them do it. Now jump ahead and imagine them doing it, and you watching. Imagine they are a little nervous, so you have to tell them what to do; direct them a little. Imagine! I Have a dream!

(Geez? How did this get so dirty? I am clearly in some sort of strange zone; enjoy it while it lasts, because it doesn't happen often. I might delete half of this post in the cold light of day.)
posted by Universal Donor 2:20 AM 0 comments

OTHER REVIEWS:
Scrabble NEW!

LATEST BOOK REVIEWS:
The Game
Moneyball
One-Upsmanship
Siddhartha

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You need the
Fear Not Guide to Life.
Buy it already. ($4)

Now available!
The Broomfield Variations CD
($10)

or go to The UD Store

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MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS

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Chan Marshall
Rotem of the IDF
Eleanor Friedberger
Amy Goodman
Bernardine Dohrn ('69)
Maya Rudolph
Joanna Newsom
Imogen Heap
Caroline Dhavernas

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Shana Rae Ray

DISALLOWED FOREVER

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"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!"
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"from whence"
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"...the exception that proves the rule"
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any use of the question "spit or swallow?"
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the phrase "drop trou"
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fake-o reviewer verbs:
"penned" for wrote
"helmed" for directed
"lensed" for whatever
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"expat"
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the euphemism
"passed away"
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pronouncing merci beaucoup as "mercy buckets!"
(see also: "grassy-ass!")

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PET PEEVES

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"confinscated"
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trying children "as adults"
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"drownded"
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misuse of reflexive pronouns, as when someone says "Please talk to Bob or myself." Come on people now. "Myself" is not just a fancy version of "me"! LEARN IT.
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tattoos in the Courier font
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any use of Comic Sans

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